Without Them
by poeticgrace
Summary: When an affair changes everything Cory Matthews has ever known, can an old friend help him put his life back together? CA
1. Chapter 1

Cory Matthews sat next to a woman he barely knew, listening to her amble on about the last five years of her life. Her dark hair cascaded over her bare shoulders, a black cocktail dress hugging every curve of her body. Every once in awhile, he would glance over at her, pretending to listen intently while watching her pursed ruby lips. A sizable diamond ring rested just above the knuckle on her left ring finger, glinting in the harsh light of the bar. Knocking back the rest of his beer, he couldn't help but wish he was the kind of guy who could just fall into bed with a woman like her.

But he wasn't that kind of guy. He was respectable, a faithful husband who still believed that marriage should mean something. Unfortunately for him, his wife didn't seem to think the same way anymore. After seven years of marriage, Cory and Topanga were further apart than he could have ever imagined. While she worked long hours at a prestigious law firm downtown, he taught history at a middle school in Brooklyn. After many years of falling asleep in his class, Cory still found it humorous that he had followed in Mr. Feeny's footsteps.

"So, Cory, tell me about yourself," the woman said, raking her fingers self-consciously through her ringlets. "What have you been up to all these years?"

He smiled carefully, considering the question for a moment. "Oh, you know, Angela, the same old thing. Nothing has really changed."

She laughed lightly. "No, I don't know. I haven't seen or talked to you and Topanga for over five years. We haven't really kept in touch. Do you have any children? Where are you working? Are you happy?"

_Are you happy?_ Once upon a time, he would have been able to answer that question without thinking about it. He had always been happy with Topanga. With Shawn by his side, they had been to hell and back. No one had ever been able to shake their bond, no one. People had come and gone into their inner circle, but the three of them had always known that they could count on each other. He had even followed the Matthews to New York when Topanga had been offered the position at the law firm. Now, Cory couldn't help but wish they had never come.

"Angela, that's not why I brought you here," he admitted softly, his gaze dropping back to the empty glass in front of him. "You showed up two weeks ago, and somehow, it was like nothing ever changed for Shawn and you."

"I know, isn't it amazing?" she smiled, running her fingers over the ring. "I still can't believe he proposed to me last night. It's crazy!"

"Yeah," he retorted hollowly. He wasn't sure how he was going to tell her, but he knew that he had to. If the situation was reversed, he'd want to know. "Last night, I came home from class early. A parent canceled a conference at the last minute, but when I called to tell Topanga, she didn't pick up. I just figured she was out picking up dinner or something. Anyhow, I took the subway home, happy to have a little extra time with my wife. I've barely seen her lately. She has been working on this huge case."

"Where are you going with this, Cor?" Angela asked, not sure exactly what his story was intended for.

"Just listen," he implored. "A few blocks from the apartment, I stopped and bought flowers from a street vendor. Topanga loves lilacs. When I climbed into the elevator, it was playing the song we danced to at our wedding. Everything felt right for the first time in a long time. But all of that came crashing around my feet when I came into the apartment. When I walked into the home I share with my wife, I found her in bed with someone else."

"Oh, Cory," she sighed, concern immediately evident in her eyes. "Did you know the guy?" Cory bit his bottom lip and pushed the tears back from the surface. Nodding slowly, he finally allowed his gaze to meet hers again. Angela knew instantly. "No."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're lying. He wouldn't do that to you. He wouldn't do that to me."

"Twenty-four hours ago, I would have said the exact same thing," Cory mumbled. "I never would have thought that either of them would do this to me, but they did. My best friend and my wife, the two people who matter most to me in the entire world, betrayed me. And they have been betraying me for the past year."

Tears slipped down her flushed cheeks, spilling over her chin and onto the faded wood bar. Angela asked the bartender for a shot of whiskey and knocked it back expertly. Raising her finger for another, she let the thick liquid slide down her throat gingerly before trying to speak to Cory again. "But he asked me to marry him two days ago. Shawn couldn't be cheating on me. He must love me or he wouldn't have asked."

Cory shrugged. "I didn't stick around long enough to hear an explanation. I just grabbed my keys and drove all night. Somewhere around 2 a.m., I turned around and came back. I spent most of the day just walking around the city, trying to lose myself in the chaos. I thought maybe if I surrounded myself with enough noise, I could drown out the inner dialogue running through my mind. Turns out, there isn't a sound loud enough in the world to hide what's going on in there."

"I stayed away from Shawn Hunter for almost six years because I thought that was the only way I would ever be able to move on. Then, my father died, and I realized that I still wasn't over him," she stated plainly. "I came to New York to be with him, not even knowing if there would still be anything between us. He cried like a baby the first time he saw me."

"We just celebrated our seven-year anniversary two weeks ago. I planned this perfect evening for us, complete with dinner and dancing. We even took a carriage ride through Central Park. It was classic New York."

"When he proposed, I thought to myself, 'This is the reason for everything. This is the reason I had to go through all of this.' I was so beside myself when he gave me the ring, I can't remember a time when I was happier. I just kept thinking about my parents, sure that they would be proud if they could only see me now."

"We made love all night, so in tune with each other for the first time in far too long. I still knew every crook and cranny of her body, the way we fit together perfectly. As she fell asleep, I prayed that this would be the night that our biggest wish would finally come true, that this would be the night that we'd conceive our child. I guess that's never going to happen."

"Why don't you have children, Cory? I figured you two would have at least a couple by now," Angela proclaimed.

"At first, Topanga said that she wanted to focus on her career. We were both in the beginning phases at our jobs, determined to climb the ranks. Then, when I started asking, she said that she wanted to wait until we had more money. Some time last year, she agreed to go off birth control. When we still weren't pregnant, I talked to her about both of us getting tested, but she insisted that we wait. As it turns out, she never went off the pill. She never went off it because she didn't want to have to question the paternity of her child."

"I think we need another round," Angela told the bartender.

"Make it a double," Cory added. The older man sat two shots in front them both. Tossing them back, Cory and Angela were silent for a few minutes. Looking across the room, he could feel himself becoming drunker by the moment. He had been at it for a couple hours before he'd called Angela to have her meet him at the bar. A few more drinks, and he knew he'd be totaled. "I can't believe I'm here with you like this."

She laughed humorlessly. "I wasn't even sure if we'd still be friends," she admitted. "I mean, we were always friends as a result of the situation, even after that day in the bathroom. You were my boyfriend's best friend. I was your girlfriend's best friend. Do you think we would have been friends if things were different?"

"I don't know. I hope so, but how can I be sure?"

"You can't be sure about anything," she mused, setting the empty shot glass back on the bar. "I have to get out of here. I can't stay here and keep drinking. Do you want to come back and stay with me tonight? You can sleep on my couch."

"That'd be nice," he thanked her. He didn't really have anywhere else to go. He could go to Eric's, but he wasn't ready to explain everything to anyone else. It was too late to take the train to Philadelphia to stay at his parents. Dropping a single large bill on the bar, he climbed off his stool shakily and reached out to help Angela. She looped her arm through his and allowed herself to be guided toward the door. Snuggling closer to him, she could barely feel the frigid wind as they headed out into the dark night.

It was a short walk to her apartment. Angela nodded curtly at the doorman as they slipped through the front door and into the elevator. Looking at herself in the mirrored doors, she could barely recognize the woman she had become in such a short time. Turning away, she tried to shake off the image. As if on cue, Cory tilted her chin up toward him and smiled. It was a small moment, but it was thick with something unfamiliar. Just as he was about to say something, the elevator dinged, indicating that they had reached her floor.

"This one is mine," she murmured as she searched through her large leather handbag for the key. Finding it buried somewhere beneath a silver compact and her PDA, she breathed a sigh of relief as she jammed it into the lock.

Inside, Cory was struck by how different her home was from the one he shared with Topanga. It was warm and inviting, decorated with plush pillows and warm hues of red and orange. Falling onto the couch, he felt immediately at ease. "This place is great," he complimented. "I've never seen anything quite like it."

"It's pretty much a carbon copy of my place in San Francisco," she revealed. "I just wanted it to feel like home."

"It really does," he assured her.

Angela smiled appreciatively as she poured two goblets full of rich merlot and brought them over to the couch. Cory tried to force a smile, but she shook her head. "You don't need to pretend with me."

"I thought that when we broke up in high school that was the most pain I would ever know," he admitted. "How could I have ever been so naïve? How did I not see it?"

"Maybe you didn't want to see it."

"Maybe, I don't know. The only thing I really do know is that I want to forget. I want to forget that I found them. I want to forget the past year, and right now, I want to forget every year before that. I just want to start over, completely fresh. I find a place where no one knows me as part of Cory and Topanga. For the first time in my life, I want to stand on my own."

"Now that, that I understand," she grinned. "A clean start is such a beautiful, rare gift."

Cory twisted the platinum wedding band on his finger. "Angela, do you remember that night in college when you kissed me?"

She laughed. "Of course."

"Do you know, that is one of the only times we ever touched? I mean, there was a hug here and there, but that was pretty much it. We never even grazed an elbow."

"You were so in love with Topanga that you didn't really see anything else," Angela remembered. "You didn't notice anyone around you. You two were the stars in your world, and the rest of us were lucky to play a supporting role."

"Well, I see you now."

"Cory," she warned, "you're dealing with a lot right now."

"So, we could do this? We could help each other through the pain and get back at them. No one could hold it against us. We'd be two people too hurt to know better."

She shook her head sadly, now playing with her own ring. "I don't want to lose the only friend I have in New York."

"That was the perfect thing to say."

"I know."

"Well, how about the second best thing?"

"And what's that?"

"How about we stay up all night talking about everything but Topanga and Shawn? If we're going to be friends, I think we should get to know each other again."

"That's the best idea I've heard all night."

"There's just one more thing," Cory retorted. She looked at him questioningly. "I want to do this without any kind of safety net." And then, he slid off his ring and placed it in the middle of the table. "We're going to do this without Topanga."

Angela inspected her engagement ring one last time before following suit, dropping it next to his. "And without Shawn."


	2. Chapter 2

Cory woke up the next morning to bright sunlight flooding Angela's cozy space, his head drumming a constant beat throughout his entire body. Mumbling to himself, he yanked the blanket over his curly hair and prayed that God would take him now as to avoid any further pain. Some time just before dawn, he had heard his cell phone ringing, the familiar tone indicating that his wife was on the other end of the call. Part of him had actually considered crawling from his haven on the couch to answer it, but she deserved to worry about him little. He had done nothing but think about her for the past 20 years.

"Good morning, sunshine," Angela bellowed as she flopped onto the end of the couch, sitting on his feet. She leaned across his body and handed him a clay mug full of coffee. "Here, this might help."

Taking a long drink of the dark brew, he closed his eyes and savored the nutty taste. "Thanks, Ang, this is exactly what I needed, unless you have two aspirins there," he said. She smiled opposite him, holding out her other fist to reveal a pair of white pills. He gladly popped slid them down his throat, gulping another long drink of coffee. "I should feel better soon."

"If only that were true," she said wryly, her gaze immediately shifting to the ring still sitting on her coffee table. "Shawn called earlier, but I didn't answer it. He left a voicemail, wants to meet for brunch in the Village. I deleted it and turned off my cell."

"I'm pretty sure she called, too. I refused to get off the couch to find out what she had to say," he offered. "Right now, I'm not interested in any kind of explanation she could have. Hopefully, she'll assume that I went home to my parents or over to Eric's loft."

"Eric," Angela smiled. "I can't believe I haven't seen him yet. He is still one of my favorite people in the entire world. It always seemed like it didn't matter what came his way, he could still look on the bright side or see the good in people."

Cory nodded knowingly; she explained her older brother absolutely perfectly. "Eric and I barely tolerated each other growing up, or at least, he barely tolerated me. I wanted to be just like him, but we were always too different. Then, in college, we became equals, and Eric became my best friend besides Shawn. I think having Jack in the group helped."

Angela had seen Jack since coming back to New York, a single dinner last week at a cosmopolitan French Bistro on the Upper West side. The three of them had talked for hours, listening to tales of her escapades on the road with her father and his journey with the Peace Corps. Shawn filled in the few silent spells with stories about his stint in New York. "I still can't believe that Jack and Rachel are still together," she sighed, reaching up absently to smooth one of her braids. "Jack seemed really happy when he talked about them. I can't wait to see her when she gets back from visiting her family in Texas."

"The six of us have dinner at least once a month, no matter what is going on," he said. "It's a rotating dinner party of sorts between our place and theirs. We don't usually go over to Shawn's, he rarely has any food, and Eric's concoctions are beyond edible. So, if it's there turn to host, we'll try out a new place or fall back on an old favorite."

She looked at him and studied his wavering eyes. "It's strange to know that life went on without you. I hear these stories and think, 'I used to be a part of that group.' Now, I'm just someone on the fringes, listening in."

"Well, you're back, and you're in my little group again. It's a very lonely club, we only have two members now. I don't think it's something anyone really wants to be a part of, but it sort of just happens to you. We call ourselves the Broken Hearts," he joked.

Reaching over, she covered his hand with hers and squeezed it. "Let's do something today that we've never done before. Anything at all, it's your pick."

He cocked his head and raised his eyebrow tauntingly. "Anything?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Matthews!" she cried, slapping him. "You had to go there. You just had to go there." He enjoyed the sound of her tinkling laugh, the way she threw her entire body into it. He could feel the giggles coming from the bottom of her stomach, pulsating through every vein to escape from her painted lips. "Seriously, what do you want to do?"

Looking down at their hands clasped on his knee and then back up at her, he knew instantly where he not only wanted to go but he had to go. "I want to go home."

"Okay," she drawled. "You can take a cab back to your apartment."

Shaking his head vehemently, he jumped up from the couch excitedly. "No, I want us to go to Philadelphia. I want to sleep in my old bedroom and have dinner with my parents and listen to Morgan ramble about her latest college boyfriend and play baseball with Joshua in the front yard. I want to forget about everything that is hard and remember everything that I love."

"I'm not a part of your family, Cory," she reminded him. "I never really fit in with them, I was just an extension of the group."

"You belong, Ang," he assured her. "You belonged then, and you belong now. Not because you were Shawn's girlfriend or Topanga's best friend, you belonged because you are you. You will always belong, even if it turns out to just be you and me."

"Thank you," she whispered inaudibly, standing up to hug him tightly. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she closed her eyes and hoped that she would always feel this safe, this wanted. "What about work? What about your responsibilities?"

"I have vacation time, which I never take. I kept thinking I'd use it when the baby came," he muttered. "Now seems like the perfect time to use all those days I saved up. I need to figure some things out. I need to go back to who I used to be to figure out who I've become."

"Are you really sure about this?"

"I have to get out of the city. I just lost my best friend and my wife in a single moment, and that's not something you just bounce back from. I've known them my entire life, and I thought if I could trust anyone, it would be them two. If I was wrong about that, I'm not sure that I'm right about anything."

Smiling resolutely, she felt confident for the first time since Cory had broken the news. "Alright, let's do this. I'll go call the train station and get us a pair of tickets. We can take the train out this afternoon."

"Perfect," Cory smiled, watching her toned back as she retreated toward her office for the cordless telephone. A few moments later, she returned and sat back on the couch, clutching the receiver in her hand. Just as she was about to say something, his cell phone started to ring from the coffee table. Without looking at it, he automatically answered the call, immediately regretting it once he heard the voice on the other end of the line.

"Cor, where are you? We need to talk."

"I don't have anything to say to you," he responded coldly. He lifted his eyes toward Angela, who was leaning toward him intently.

"Hang up," she whispered urgently. He sat frozen, still listening to Shawn on the other end. She could tell that Cory wasn't sure what to do, that his heart and his mind at were at war with each other. Reaching for the small silver device, Angela flipped it shut and sat it back on the table. "I had to do what I knew you couldn't."

"I wish it was anyone but him," he lamented. "I would know what to do if it just wasn't Shawn. I'm afraid to walk away from him. He doesn't have anyone else."

"He has her."

The words hit him over and over again, killing a little more of his heart every time. Shawn had Topanga. Topanga had Shawn. He had no one, or he had thought he had no one. As it turned out, maybe Angela would end up being the one thing he could count on. "Make that call," he urged her. "I'm just going to go call Eric, let him know where I'm headed just in case he needs me. I'm sure that Topanga and Shawn have called him looking for me. I should probably explain."

She waved dismissively, already deep in the process of ordering their tickets. Dialing his number from memory, Cory waited anxiously for his older brother to answer the phone as he sauntered onto the fire escape. "Eric?"

"Hey, little brother, I was starting to get worried about you. Your wife has probably called me a dozen times look for you, and I just hung up with Shawn. What's going on?"

"Topanga and Shawn are what are going on," he revealed, pain evident in his faltering voice. "They've been sleeping together for a year, but dumb old Cory just caught on two days ago. I've been at Angela's since, not really sure where else to go."

"You could have come here."

"I had to tell her."

"How's she taking it?"

"About as well as me," he retorted. "She's actually part of the reason I'm calling. We're going to head down to Philadelphia this afternoon. I want to go home, see the parents, and hang out with Morgan and Joshua. I have to get out of New York."

"I understand," Eric avowed, and Cory knew that he did. "Maybe I'll come down this weekend, and we can go to Chubby's. I'll even treat you to one of those clown burgers you used to love so much."

"Please don't tell them where I went," he implored. "In fact, don't tell anyone, not even Jack and Rachel. I'm sure that everyone will figure it out eventually, but for now, I just want to have a few days alone."

"I won't," he promised. "Call me if you need anything, Cor."

"I will. Hey, Eric?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime, little brother," Eric said with a laugh before the line went dead. Cory pushed the end button his phone and slipped it into his back pocket. Looking through the window, he could see Angela on the couch, her knees drawn up to her chin. Crawling back into her apartment through the window, he sat back down next to her with a wry grin.

"Shawn doesn't even know that I know," she announced to no one in particular. "We were supposed to have brunch at Tavern on the Green Sunday to celebrate our engagement. I was going to take him to Boston to see where my parents were buried next week. I thought that maybe we could get married in October."

"I never even wanted to live in New York. I followed Topanga here, I figured I owed her after she turned down Yale for me. We lived in this dingy studio our first year in the city, but I think it was the happiest year of my life. I fell in love with her all over again after we moved. She was an entirely different person, even more at home in her skin, if that's possible."

"I thought about Shawn every single day when I was gone. That first year was the hardest, living in Europe and wishing that I was still in America with my friends. And then, it became a little easier until it became my life. When it came time to go back, Dad and I decided to stay. Just before he got sick, he retired from the military, and we did a lot of traveling."

"I have never seen two people more in love that Topanga and me. I always thought if I had half what my parents had, I would be the luckiest man in the world. Well, I had that and so much more. I had everything I had ever dreamed of, but that's gone."

"When my dad died, I knew that I couldn't keep running forever. I had always been in love with Shawn, and I was still in love with him. I booked the first flight out of Paris with only his address scrawled on the back of a band flyer I found. It was pouring rain when I showed up on his doorstep, and I thought to myself, 'This has to be it.' It was like a dream…now it's more like a nightmare."

"I'm sorry about your dad, Angela. I don't know if I have said that, but if I haven't, I should have. I know what he meant to you."

"He was my family. He was the one person I could always count on to love me no matter what. And now, he's gone, and I don't have anything like that. It's just me, all alone in the world like an orphan."

"Do you remember the Christmas when Shawn showed up drunk, and my parents offered to adopt him?"

"It was the single most amazing outpour of love I've ever seen," she remembered.

"My dad still has that plaque on the wall in his den. Hanging between Morgan and me, Shawn's handprints are a reminder that he was apart of my family. No matter what happened, my parents have always loved him like a son. If you let them, my parents will love you like that, Ang. They'll be the family you need."

Angela grinned, honestly touched at the purity of his offer. A comfortable silence settled between them as they sat nestled on the sofa. Cory was so caught up in the moment that he didn't notice when someone knocked at the door. Apparently, neither did Angela as the person outside began to bang loudly against the wooden frame. Finally, shaking her head as if to clear it of any thoughts, she walked across the room to answer the door. With a single word, she left behind the cozy world she had easily created with Cory and came crashing back to reality.

"Topanga."


	3. Chapter 3

"You're not welcome here," Angela announced as Cory came up behind her. She could feel him tense up immediately, but she kept her eyes locked on Topanga. Angling her body so that she was positioned between the two, she prayed that her former friend would just leave without another word. But as Topanga jutted out her chin in defiance, she knew that they were in for a fight.

"He's my husband, you have no right to keep him away from me."

"I'm fairly certain it's not my fault he's here," she shot back. "In fact, I believe that it is you that broke his heart and sent him in the other direction. He has made it perfectly clear that he does not want to see or talk to you or Shawn. The same goes for me."

"I don't care what you want, Angela," Topanga spat. "I only care about Cory." She tried to step around the taller woman, looking pleadingly at the boy she'd loved her entire life. "Please, Cory, just hear me out. If you'll listen, maybe I can explain everything."

Angela stepped toward her and stared into Topanga's eyes coldly. "How do you justify sleeping with his best friend? How can you possibly rationalize purposely having an affair and breaking up your marriage? It's not like this happened once, Topanga, it went on for a year. A year! You lied to the man you claim to love for an entire year, and you think you can just explain that?"

"This is between Cory and me, so why don't you just back off?" she shouted. Then, looking over Angela's shoulder, she dropped her voice. "Just five minutes and then I'll leave you alone. You owe me this much."

"He owes you?" Angela asked incredulously. "He owes you?!? You need to get the hell out of my apartment."

"I'm not leaving. Not until Cory talks to me."

"He doesn't want to talk to you."

Resting his hand on her shoulder, Cory gently turned Angela around to face him. "It's fine, I'll listen to her for five minutes if it means she'll leave. There's no point in letting her ruin a perfectly good day with this trite argument," he told her softly. Looking over at Topanga, he added, "I'll listen to you, but I can pretty much guarantee that this isn't going to change anything."

"It's worth a try," Topanga remarked with a small voice.

Reaching down for Angela's hand, he squeezed it to reassure her. "I'll be right back, and then we will go take care of that stuff we talked about earlier," he promised. Topanga looked at them enviously, slightly shocked at how close they seemed already. "Let's go."

In the hallway, he crossed his arms over his chest protectively. "Speak. You have five minutes."

Tears sprang to her eyes immediately. He was so distant and cold, in a place she had never seen him before. He was the one that would usually save his friends, bringing them out of the darkness when they saw no other way out. Cory had been the one to take care of Shawn time and time again. He'd been there through the various comings and goings of his parents, through the breakups with Angela and through Chet's death. For Topanga, he was the one who had made her believe in love again after her parents' divorce. Cory Matthews was the most selfless person she had ever known.

"Cory, I am so sorry."

"I believe that you are," he retorted, "but it doesn't make it any better. You lied to my face every single day for the past year. You made love to my best friend in our bed. You betrayed the vows we took before God and everyone. You disrespected my role as your husband. You broke up our marriage."

She covered her mouth, attempting unsuccessfully to stifle a sob. "We didn't mean for it to happen once, let alone go on this long. I kept telling myself that I would stop, promising myself that I'd come clean. Every night, I'd start to tell you, but then I'd remember how much I stood to lose and I couldn't."

"I'm sorry your guilty conscious and selfish outlook prohibited you from telling me the truth. I'm glad that you remembered how much you had to lose but neglected to think about what this would actually do to me when I found out."

"It wasn't like that," she protested. "Shawn and I didn't want to hurt you for anything in the world. You're the most important person in both of our lives."

"No, you changed that," he said. "I once told my father that the moment I chose to love you, you became the most important person in the world to me. You mattered more to me than I mattered to myself. The very second you slept with Shawn, you broke a part of me that I will never be able to get back."

"No!" she exclaimed. "You have to figure out a way to forgive me. I forgave you when you kissed Lauren. We got past that, even when everyone else thought that our love was lost. We can overcome this, we can overcome anything. We're Cory and Topanga."

"You're getting desperate, Topanga," he said dismissively. "We are not Cory and Topanga anymore. I am Cory. You are Topanga. We are two individuals now, merely held together by the legal inconvenience of marriage. A lawyer and a day in court will take care of that for me."

A horrible cry escaped from her throat as she sank to the ground, covering her ears with her hand. A familiar pang of regret filled Cory's hand as he watched her fall apart before his eyes. Even in his anger, he didn't want to see her like this, but it wasn't up to him to pick her up this time. The compassionate, all-encompassing love he had for her had left him cold, numb and empty. Every time he closed his eyes, he could feel the betrayal overtake him again.

"What do you want from me, Cory? There's nothing to say, I have nothing left."

"The only thing I want from you Topanga is to know why. I want to know how you could do this to me. I need to know why you slept with my best friend."

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I wish I had an answer, but I don't. I could give you a random lie, but I owe the truth for once. It just happened."

Angela chose that exact moment to stick her head out the door. Ignoring Topanga, she glanced at Cory with concern. "Are you okay?"

"We're done here," he told her without looking back at Topanga. Following Angela back into the apartment, he heard his wife start to cry again as he shut the door behind him. As soon as he heard the lock click, he slid to the floor, his shirt brushing against the wood on the way down. Angela sat down a few feet away from him, unsure what to do exactly. His eyes were fixated on a photograph of Shawn across the room, still displayed in the center of the mantle.

"Cory," Angela attempted, hoping to break him out of the depressing reverie. "Cory." He was still unresponsive, simply staring at the picture. Crawling toward him, she said his name twice more without getting any kind of reply. Reaching up, she framed his face in her hands and pulled his gaze toward her. "Look at me."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I told you that I wouldn't let this ruin our day, but I am."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm a very forgiving person. In fact, you can completely make this up to me if you'll leave with me now. We have a half-hour to get to the station. I packed a bag for myself, but I don't have anything that is going to fit you. Do you want to swing by your apartment and get some stuff?"

"Yeah, like that's going to happen," he replied sarcastically. "I still have a few things at my parents' house, so I'll be fine. Let's just get out of here and out of New York."

The train ride to Philadelphia seemed to fly by as Cory and Angela spent the entire time talking. Neither of them mentioned Shawn or Topanga once. Instead, Cory told her about his students, how he'd fallen in love with teaching and how he wanted to start an after school program in Brooklyn. She told him about seeing the world, stories of her father and the articles she'd written for magazines all over the place. Even if it was only in their professional lives, there was some perfection in their worlds. As the city faded to the country to the city again, they sipped hot coffee and nibbled on sweet cinnamon bread.

Reaching into his pocket, Cory called home and asked his very surprised father to meet him at the train station on the other end. Alan agreed happily, all the while wondering what was bringing his middle son home. When they stepped off the train at the depot, he was shocked to see Angela behind him rather than Topanga. Hugging his son tightly, he looked at him worriedly. "Where is your wife?"

"Probably at home in New York," Cory replied. "I honestly really don't care. Dad, you remember Angela. I hope you don't mind if she stays with us. She can sleep in my bed, I'll take the floor. We don't want to put anyone out."

"Of course I remember Angela," Alan mused, reaching out to embrace the woman. "Amy and I would love it if you stayed with us. You haven't seen Joshua in a long time. It's going to surprise you how big he's gotten."

Angela smiled genuinely as she pulled away from him. For the first time since her father had died, she felt a paternal influence in her life. Alan and Amy Matthews were the kind of parents all kids wish they had growing up. "I know. I wish I hadn't stayed a way so long," she retorted as they headed toward the car. Cory wordlessly took her bag and slung it over his shoulder, all the while guiding her through the crowd with his hand on the small of her back.

As they reached the same old black SUV Alan had driven for nearly a decade, Angela was happy to see at least one thing hadn't change. Cory deposited her luggage into the trunk before opening the passenger door for her. Sliding into the backseat behind her, he leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "Well, we're here. Is it everything you remember?"

Alan chose to ignore the obvious closeness between his son and his friend. He was dying to ask where Topanga and Shawn were but didn't. He knew Cory well enough to know that he would reveal everything when he was ready. Drumming his hands on the steering wheel in time to the classic rock song on the radio, he listened to two ramble on as they navigated toward him.

"Your house still looks the same!" Angela exclaimed twenty minutes later as she climbed out of the car. Looking up at the two-story white house, she felt like she was coming home. A wreath of dry flowers hung on the red door, yellow and pink tulips lined the sidewalk and a child's bike had been parked on the front lawn. "It still feels the same."

"Yeah, it's great, isn't it?" Cory said as they followed Alan into the living room. Amy was sitting on the sofa with Joshua, listening to him read from a Dr. Seuss book. Dropping the tote on the floor by the staircase, he dropped on the couch next to his mom without saying anything. "Hey, Mom."

"Cory!" she cried, dropping the book to hug him fiercely. Cory felt all air escape his body as his mother smuggled him in her embrace, but he didn't have a complaint in the world. There was something about a hug from her that seemed to make everything better, even if it was just a second. "Why didn't you tell me that you were coming? I would have gone to the market to get some of your favorite foods."

"We just decided to come down this morning, so I didn't have time. Don't worry about it though, I'm sure whatever you have will be more than fine."

"We?" she asked, looking around the room for Topanga. When her eyes settled on Angela, she was slightly surprised for a second. In the next moment, she leapt from the sofa to embrace the girl she hadn't seen in years. "Welcome home, Angela! It's so great to see you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Matthews," Angela managed as she received a hug almost as tight as Cory's. "It is wonderful be here. I really appreciate you letting me stay here."

"Amy, please," she said. "And it's our pleasure." She clearly had no idea that Angela was going to be staying with them, but it didn't really matter. She had long grown accustomed to having one or two strays around when her children came home to visit. Growing more serious as she pulled back, she ran her hand up and down Angela's arm soothingly. "We were so sorry to hear about your father."

"Mom," Cory breathed.

"It's okay," Angela told him before turning back to Amy. "Thank you, I appreciate that."

"We're going to go upstairs and get settled. I'd like to change my clothes, and I'm sure Angela could use a minute to freshen up. We'll be back down in a few minutes. I'd like to take everyone to dinner if you don't have plans."

"Sounds great, Cor," Alan said as he watched them retrieve Angela's bag and start up the stairs. "We'll be down here if you need anything."

Padding up the carpeted steps, Cory paused outside his bedroom door. He had never brought another girl up to his childhood room other than Topanga. For a second, he thought about keeping the revelation to himself, but he wanted to share it with Angela. Something about her made him want to share all of his thoughts. "You know, you're the only girl I've ever brought up here other than her."

"Imagine that," Angela said as she leaned against the doorjamb casually. "Are you sure you're ready for such a big step? You know there's no going back after this."

"Don't make fun of me," he pouted, earning a hearty laugh from his companion. "I'm still new to this. I don't know what you're going to do once we get in there. You might just catch sight of my little league trophies and fall madly in love with me. I'm not sure if we're ready for such a huge commitment."

"Let's test it out, I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

"Fine," he said, stepping out of the way to let her in. "Enter at your own risk."

Downstairs, Alan sent Joshua upstairs to change for dinner, giving himself a moment alone with his wife. "I have no idea what's going on," he told her before she could ask. "He called me at the store and asked if I could come pick him up. When I got there, Angela was with him. He didn't offer any explanation, and I haven't asked. Neither one of them have mentioned Topanga or Shawn."

"Something happened," Amy retorted. "I don't know what it is, but I know that it must have been something bad. My heart is telling me that our son's life is about to change even more, and he doesn't even know it yet."


	4. Chapter 4

Cory stirred from his deep slumber somewhere past three, his back aching from the hard floor beneath him. Angela had tried to insist that he take the bed, but he had been raised to be chivalrous. His mother had offered the couch repeatedly, but he had wanted to spend his first night at home in his own bedroom. There was something safe about it, like nothing bad could ever happen there. Now, as he wandered over to the window to peer across the dark night sky, he felt better than he had for days.

Mr. Feeny's house was dark next door. Cory had vowed to go see his mentor the next morning. He knew that the group's former teacher would be able to tell that something was wrong immediately, and for the first time since telling Angela, he would feel like talking about it. With dawn still hours away, he had a short reprieve from reliving the sordid tales of his marriage. For now, he'd settle for some cereal and Phillies highlights on the couch, a favorite pastime growing up.

Slipping down the back staircase, he thought about how long the day had been. Just this morning, he had woken up in Angela's apartment, coming off a killer hangover and a night of confessions. Topanga had shown up, and he had been cold and distant as they fought. Looking back, he felt like he was remembering something he had seen rather than something he had been apart of. As he pulled a box of frosted flakes from the shelf, he was happy to know that his mom still kept his favorite snack around for when he came to visit.

"You know, that's Joshua's favorite too," Amy announced behind him as Cory padded over to the fridge for milk. "Whenever he is really upset about something, like a fight at school with a friend or a bad grade on a test, he comes home and makes him a big bowl. We'll sit at the table and talk until he feels better. It reminds me of you so much."

"And here I thought you kept some just for me," Cory smiled, pouring the white liquid over the flakes. His mother handed him a spoon and followed him quietly into the living room. Flipping the television to the local sports channel, he muted the TV and leaned back. Looking back over at his mother, he tried to find the words to tell her what she wanted to hear. "I know you're curious, Mom."

"I haven't asked a single question until now, Cor, but at some point, a mother has to know why her child shows up unexpectedly with a woman who isn't his wife. I know you, and I know that it must be something pretty awful to make you run away like that. You've never abandoned Topanga once the entire time you've known her."

He considered the sentiment for a moment as he chewed his food steadily. "Part of me is afraid to tell you because I'm afraid it will make you hate Topanga. As angry as I am right now, I don't actually wish her any harm. Sometimes I hate that you raised me to be so compassionate because I could really use a vengeful streak right now."

She sighed deeply, its drawn out sound filling the air temporarily. "No matter what happens, I could never hate Topanga. For as long as I have known her, I have loved her like a daughter. But I will always take your side, Cory. You are my son, and nothing comes before you and your siblings."

"I feel like a hostage to the decisions I've made," Cory confessed, leaning forward to set the bowl on the low coffee table in front of him. Reaching up, he brushed his hands over his eyes tiredly. "Two nights ago, I came home and found my wife in bed with another man. She was at our apartment, in our bed, with my best friend. I caught Topanga and Shawn together, making love in my home."

"Oh, Cory."

"I told Angela last night. Shawn asked her to marry him last week, and I knew that he would never tell her on his own. In fact, I think he half expected me to keep his secret out of some sort of jaded loyalty. I couldn't do that to Ang, she doesn't have anyone. I didn't want her to rely on some family that was a lie."

"So, that's why she is here! Your father and I were both a little confused when she showed up with you," Amy admitted. "It's not that we weren't happy to see her, it's just that she hadn't really been a part of your life for quite some time. How is she dealing with all of this?" 

"Honestly, I think we're both sort of just going through the motions still," he explained. "That's why I suggested that we come down here. I wanted to see you guys and talk to Mr. Feeny. I just needed to get out of New York. It suddenly felt too small."

"Have you talked to Shawn since then?"

"Not really," Cory answered, shaking his head. "But Topanga showed up at Angela's this morning. We sort of fought, but it wasn't as passionate as it should have been. I felt so withdrawn, and she seemed pathetic. She tried to apologize, but it only made me angrier. It was like she actually believed that she was going to be able to explain this all away with words. She even tried to compare this to when I kissed Lauren."

"Lauren? The girl from the lodge? That's absurd. I mean, this is hardly the same thing."

"Exactly my point. I kissed Lauren once, maybe twice, but it was the one time that I was ever even an ounce unfaithful to Topanga. It was really the only time I even questioned our relationship," he remembered. "But I can't believe she would even start to parallel this to Lauren. She slept with my best friend. I've never slept with anyone else other than my wife, and she wants to compare this to a girl I kissed in high school."

Amy reached over and put her arm around Cory's broad shoulders. Drawing him nearer to her petite frame, a wave of maternal concern swept over her. "I am so sorry that you are going through this. I wish that there was something more that I could do, but this is one of those things a mother can't fix."

"I never expected you to fix it, Mom. That's not why I came home. I just wanted you to listen, and you're doing that. Just by hearing me out, you're helping me more than you could ever know."

"So, when you fought with Topanga, what happened?"

Cory closed his eyes. "She fought with Angela at first. The two women were so angry that they didn't care about hurting each other. Topanga just wanted to talk to me. I finally gave in, hoping that we could just get it over with so that she'd leave. I didn't want to see her, I just wanted to hide out from the world with Angela."

"You two seem close."

"No one else understands," Cory proclaimed. "When we were out in the hall, Topanga made that abundantly clear. She felt like I owed her something. I listened to her apology, and I knew that she was sorry but I couldn't care less. They were just words, empty words that meant nothing to me. She took away a part of me that I will never be able to get back."

"You lost the last of your innocence," Amy told him. "It's a very disheartening this when you realize that you've fully grown up and are just another jaded, cynical adult in this fast pace world. I know, I've been there."

"Topanga was a mess, sobbing in a puddle on the floor. I felt guilty, which made me even angrier at her. My first instinct was to coddle her until she felt better, to stroke her hair and kiss her tears away. But I didn't. I just stood there coldly, my arms crossed over my chest. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

"She gave me the usual rhetoric, talking about how important I was to her and how Shawn hadn't wanted to hurt me," he continued. "I basically told her that I wanted a divorce and that our marriage had been whittled down to nothing more than a formality. She cried even harder. Then, she asked what I wanted from her, and the only thing I could do was ask why. I needed to know how she could sleep with Shawn."

"Did she have an answer?" Amy asked. Cory shook his head silently, turning to bury his face in his mom's shoulder. She could feel the onset of tears working its way through her son as she reached up to smooth his curly hair. It had been years since she'd held him like this.

"Mom, I don't know how to do this," he cried, bring tears to Amy's eyes quickly. "I don't know how to live in a world without Shawn and Topanga."

"Maybe you won't have to. It's possible that you will be able to forgive them someday."

"Right now, I can't see that day ever coming. I can only see the pain, the constant movie of that night that's playing in my head. I don't see how I could ever say that this is okay and that all is forgotten."

"And you won't ever feel that way," Amy acknowledged. "However, you might eventually get past it. It's going to take a long time, but you have many years of friendship and love behind you that could make it possible."

"How do you come back from something like this? How do you move forward with your life when you've just seen it ripped apart?"

Amy leaned her forehead against Cory's. "I don't know, Cor, I don't know."

Upstairs, Angela could hear the faint discussion going on downstairs. She had been awake for awhile but hadn't made a move to get up. She understood that Cory needed his mother, and that Amy needed to be the one to comfort him this time. There were so many things they both needed to work out, and knowing Cory Matthews, he'd be more worried about her than himself. As she turned over and propped her head on her fist, a photograph caught her eye.

Reaching toward the nightstand, she picked up the frame to study it closely. It was of the four of them back at Penbrook, sitting casually on the couch they'd spent hours on in the union. Topanga and Shawn flanked each end with Cory and Angela tucked between them. Covering up Topanga and Cory, she looked at the image of herself with Shawn.

They had been happy then, truly happy. It was probably a month before her father asked her to go to Europe. A part of her wished that they could recapture the magic of that afternoon, of the innocence that time so cruelly takes away. A bigger part of her knew that they couldn't go back and that she would never be the same person she was in that picture.

Moving her hand over, she then studied Topanga and Cory. A sparkle refracted in the picture, a glare coming off her diamond engagement ring. They'd been married for seven months at that point, and Angela truly believed that they would be together for the rest of their lives. Hell, up until yesterday, she had still thought that. Topanga and Cory had personified everything she had ever wanted in life. Now, they symbolized everything she was scared to become.

Finally, she covered up their partners, hiding Shawn and Topanga so that only she and Cory remained. _This is all I have now_, she thought silently. _If I didn't know better and saw only this part of the photograph, would I think we were a couple? Could I write a story of unending love for two such different people?_

Placing the frame back on the wooden surface beside her, she tried to listen for Cory's voice. It had stopped and been replaced by a set of footsteps coming toward her. A sliver of light filled the room as Cory slipped back in wordlessly. Sitting up, Angela threw back the covers and flipped on the lamp. He grinned over at her guiltily, feeling like he'd been caught sneaking back into the house. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked wryly, coming over to sit on the foot of the bed. Angela moved over to the side, offering him a pillow as she laid back. Cory sidled up next to her, folding his elbows behind his head.

"When I woke up, you were gone," she replied. "I guess just wanted to make sure you were okay before I went back to sleep."

"I'm fine," he promised. "I just went down to have some cereal and watch TV. My mom must have heard me too because she came down to the kitchen and found me. I told her everything."

"Did she have any great pearls of wisdom?"

"Afraid not," Cory smiled, "but don't worry, we still have Mr. Feeny. He's always been the wise one in this crew. If anyone else can make it better for me, it'll be him."

"You know that he can't, Mr. Matthews."

"I'm know, Ms. Moore."

"Let's get out of here, Cor. Neither of us is going to be able to sleep any time soon. We could just take a walk. I know that it's not New York, but I'm sure there is something to see at 4 a.m. in Philadelphia."

An idea popped in his head at Angela's suggestion. "I know just the place."


	5. Chapter 5

Cory reached for Angela's hand and helped her over the crumbling wooden bridge. She had never seen this part of Philadelphia, a hidden relic from the infamous trio's past. Cory himself hadn't been there for years, not since he'd reconciled with Topanga back in high school. As they quietly made their way across the playground, memories of that night came flooding back to him.

Topanga had gone on a date with another guy, the first time he'd ever felt like she had cheated on him. They were broken up at the time, the result of his indecisiveness over Lauren. Ricky had been an artist, someone who seemed to have so much in common with her. They had gone on one date, and she had kissed him. Everyone else had thought that there relationship was over, but Cory knew that it wasn't. In fact, he had told Shawn that he was the only person in the world who knew they were far from being done.

She had shown up in the middle of the night at the playground, looking more beautiful than she had ever looked. He was just sitting on the monkey bars where they'd first met, hoping against hope that she'd come. Topanga had forgiven him that night, finally understanding how he could kiss Lauren and have it not mean anything. Cory was the only guy she ever thought she'd love, and they agreed to give their relationship a fresh start.

"Ah, the infamous monkey bars," Angela sighed as they came upon the playground equipment. Running her hand across the cold metal, she wrapped her fingers around the pole and swung herself around in circles. "Are we here to relive the story I've heard so many times?"

Cory shook his head vehemently, turning his eyes toward the night sky. "She took me to a museum once and asked me to tell her what Van Gough's Starry Night meant. I didn't know what she was looking for. I didn't have the answer she wanted."

"I remember that," she murmured, following his gaze to the stars sprinkled across the velvet horizon. "I never understood why she felt the need to test you. You should be able to just trust in love. She couldn't."

Sitting down on the bottom rung of the ladder, Cory looked over at Angela across from him. "I didn't understand the painting, but I understand the stars in this sky. They're real, not just a symbol. They are God's light. I don't have to interpret them, my faith tells me everything that I need to know," Cory explained. "I always looked at our relationship like that. I didn't know how or why it worked, only that it was right. I had blind faith in our love, and I was sure that it would last forever."

"Cor, why are we here?"

"I came here that night knowing that she would show up. I told Shawn that our relationship wasn't over yet, and I turned out to be right," Cory recalled. "And now, I'm just as sure that our relationship is over. I had to come here, to the place where it all began, to truly end it. I already said goodbye to my wife. I wanted to come here to say goodbye to my marriage."

Angela wanted to say something, to find a way to promise him that everything was going to be fine and that maybe this was for the best. But the words weren't there, and she knew she couldn't make a promise she wasn't sure she could keep. So, instead, she reached up and swung childishly toward him. When she reached the final bar, she dropped heavily beside him. Then, kneeling in front of him, she wrapped her arms around his body and pulled him close. "I can't make this better for you, Cory," she said. "But I can hug you and I can be your friend. So, I'm going to hug you really tightly right now and not let go until you tell me too."

Cory didn't protest as she embraced him. Instead, he rested his forehead against the slope of her neck and enjoyed the springy evening breeze. "Don't let go," he pleaded as he held onto her tighter. The tears were coming, he knew it. A part of him was ashamed to cry in front of her, but another part of her felt like it was completely natural. When he pulled away, however, he was angry. "Dammit!" he screamed, his voice echoing through the empty night.

"There it is," Angela acknowledged dryly.

"What do you mean?"

"The anger," she said. "I've been waiting for it. You haven't really yelled yet, Cory. You haven't felt it out."

"I don't know what to do," he muttered. "I just don't know what to do. If it was Shawn's life, I'd have all the answers. I'd be the first one to help him fix it. But this is my life, and I don't have a clue. Shawn has always been the one I've gone to on stuff like this, but I can't now. I have to do this on my own. I'm alone. I am all alone."

"You're not alone. You have me," she offered. "I don't have anyone, Cory. I don't have a family, and I haven't spoken to most of my friends for years. You're not the only one going through this. You're not the only one having a hard time."

"You and Shawn weren't married," Cory ventured. "It's not the same."

"Don't do that!" she cried, spinning away from him. "Don't marginalize my relationship with Shawn. I was in love with him, had been in love with him. I didn't have the advantage of knowing him my entire life, but I have loved him as long as I have known him. I wanted to spend my life with him."

Guilt pierced Cory's heart as he watched her start to cry. He hated himself for adding to her pain. Angela had been nothing but great to him, and he had just degraded her relationship. "I'm sorry, Ang," he murmured as he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he whispered into her ear. "I had no right to step all over your feelings like that. You've been great to me."

Angela turned around in his embrace and threaded her arms around his neck. "And I'm going to keep being great, Cor. I promised you that I was going to be here for you. You can push me away if it makes you feel better, but I'm not going to leave. We need each other."

Reaching over to wipe away the slightest glimmer of a tear from the corner of her beautiful eye, Cory nodded. "You're right," he agreed. "And now, I'm very tired. Why don't we go home and get some sleep? I think the sun is about to come up, and if I know my mom, she's going to be worried when she finds the bedroom empty."

"Amy is such a mom," Angela laughed as they started off toward Cory's house. The neighborhood was still quiet, streetlamps casting a comforting amber glow across the blacktop. She reached for his hand casually, swinging their arms absently as the trekked along. "Your parents are really great. I love that your house feels so much like home. I miss that."

"Miss what? My house?"

"No, the idea of home. For so long, I've been my own home. You're really lucky that you have somewhere concrete to go when you need to feel connected to something. The only thing I feel connected to is a cemetery plot in Boston."

"I'd like to go there with you."

"I don't know. I've never taken anyone there with me."

"You can't push me away either, Angela. I know that part of your life is hard for you, but I'm not going to let you do this to yourself. I am going to figure out a way to make your life better."

"Maybe you already have."

Back in New York, Topanga tapped her foot restlessly as she waited for the elevator to return to the lobby. When the lift finally arrived, she slipped inside and punched the button for the seventh floor. The light lit up, quickly sending the car skyward. It paused on the third floor to let someone else on. Exchanging an awkward smile with the stranger, she wondered why anyone else would be up at this hour.

Stepping off onto the seventh floor, she nodded curtly at the man and took the familiar walk to the end of the hallway. Knocking on the door as a courtesy, she slipped her key in the lock and turned the knob. Discarding her red pea coat and matching handbag on the wooden chair in the foyer, she looked around the apartment for Shawn.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked with concern once she'd found him in his darkroom. The red light had been off, so she'd come in unannounced. "I've been trying to call you all night. I was worried."

"I saw Cory. We fought."

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head. "No, of course not," she answered. "I just didn't expect him to be so angry, Shawn. I don't think he's going to forgive us."

"Maybe it's for the best," he drawled, setting down his camera to come up next to her. "We could be together like we talked about. There aren't anymore excuses between us. It's just you and me now."

"I don't know. I don't want to think about anything anymore. I'm too tired."

"Well, I think I can take care of that," he murmured, pressing her back toward the door. His hands roamed over her body, down her back and across her hips. Pulling her taut body to his, he laid a soft trail of kisses along her collarbone. She gasped lightly when he lifted her effortlessly, wrapping her legs around his strong torso. Pressing his lips to hers, his tongue begged for passage into her ripe mouth. Finally obliging his desperate plea, Topanga's fingers traveled through his dark locks.

Carrying her to his bedroom, Shawn deposited Topanga carefully to the middle of the mattress. Hovering over her, he helped her remove her strappy stilettos, rubbing her feet affectionately as she gazed at him with hooded eyes. Running his hands up her bare legs beneath her long skirt, Shawn guided her back against the pillows. His mouth came crashing to hers again. Reaching up, Topanga tugged on the hem of his shirt. Layer after layer, they aided each other in peeling away their clothes. When there was nothing else left between them, they came together once again.

Hours later, Topanga sat on the edge of the bed, clutching her head in her hands. Shawn was asleep beside her, his arm thrown across where she laid sleeping minutes before. She watched him for a few moments, admiring the steady rise and fall of his sculpted chest. He seemed peaceful and serene, as if he didn't have a care in the world. A tear ran down her flushed cheek as she struggled to muffle her sobs. Her attempt was in vain, however. Shawn quickly woke up and pulled her back toward him. Lying like spoons, he stroked her hair and murmured kind words of reassurance in her ear.

Finally, she rolled over and looked at him. "What we just did was wrong, Shawn. We can't keep doing this. Cory is my husband. He's your best friend. If we keep doing this, we're going to lose him for good."

"I think we already have, Topanga," he admitted. "The best thing we can hope for at this point is to hold onto each other. I don't want to lose you, too. You mean too much to me."

"How did this happen? How did we get here? Cory asked, and I couldn't tell him. I need you to tell me."

"I haven't thought about that night in so long."

"I need to remember it, Shawn. Please help me remember."

"Why don't you get some sleep and then we'll talk about it when you wake up. We're both tired, and this is way too important for us to just graze over this."

"Fine," she relented, closing her eyes. She allowed Shawn to pull her back against him, pressing her weight against his body. "I'm sorry, Shawn. I just don't know what to do."

"You don't have to apologize to me for anything."

"Thanks," she mumbled as she started to drift toward sleep. Just before she fell into the world of unconscious completely, Topanga heard the one thing Shawn needed to tell her most in the world.

"You don't have to apologize to me for anything, Topanga, I'm in love with you."


	6. Chapter 6

"Cory, Cory, wake up, wake up!" Joshua called excitedly the next morning, jumping on top of his brother and digging his fingers into Cory's stomach. Doing his best to tickle him, Joshua giggled as Cory squirmed tiredly. Not quite coherent yet, he had no idea what was going on. "Wake up, Mommy made breakfast!"

"Come on, Josh, it's not even nine yet," Cory pleaded, attempting in vain to cover his eyes with the back of his arm. His little brother was relentless in his attack, having missed him terribly for the past few months. It was lonely basically growing up on your own, even with parents as great as Alan and Amy Matthews. Morgan was away at school, and Eric lived in New York along with Cory. "If you give me about five minutes to wake up, I promise that I'll come down and eat with you. What'd Mom make?"

"She made the smiley face pancakes like you like," he answered excitedly, waving his hands around suggestively. "Hurry up before Daddy eats them all!"

Cory laughed to himself as the seven-year-old galloped out of the room. Sitting up, he could see Angela lying in his bed, somehow still asleep. Padding toward the entrance to his room, he pulled the door shut and then climbed on the bed beside her. Pulling back the blanket silently, he placed his hands on either side of her long torso and began to tickle her.

"Stop, Cory," she giggled quietly. "I just heard you getting onto your brother for the exact same thing. Now, why would you think it would be a good idea to tickle me?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were up. My mom's pancakes are not to be missed. She makes them homemade from scratch. She even strategically places blueberries and strawberries in the batter to make smiley faces. Eric and I used to love them when we were kids. She'd always make them for me on my birthday. I haven't had them in years."

Angela stretched her arms over her bed and then reached over for Cory's as he fell back beside her. They laid there quietly beside each other, holding hands. There was something in the air, and both of them could feel it. As Cory turned on his side and looked down at her, his instincts told him to do something he was scared to do. Instead, he reached up and brushed a long piece of hair from her eye. Angela shivered at the intimate gesture, forcing herself to break the moment. "Do you want the first shower?"

"You take it," he replied without looking away. His hand rested on the side of her face, cupping her cheek in his palm. She turned her head slightly and kissed the delicate skin on the inside of his hand. "Ang, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it, Cor? I think I've proven at this point that you can tell me anything."

He smiled, well aware just how true that statement was. "I need to tell you thank you for coming home with me. Having you here has made it a lot easier for me to come to terms with what's happened. With you to support me, I feel like I could actually get past this."

Angela leaned closer and wrapped her arms around Cory's neck to hug him. As she started to pull back, Cory didn't quite let go. Instead, he pulled her closer to him and pressed his lips against hers fully. She melted into his body, sliding her ankle between his legs. Rolling them over so that he was on top, Cory devoured her mouth hungrily. She moaned against his lips, her fingers quickly becoming lost in his hair. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip and slid his hands down to her hips.

"We have to stop," Angela said breathlessly as she tried to regain control of her senses. Holding Cory's face in her hands, she looked up at him pleadingly. "We can't do this now. Not like this."

"Yes, we can," he insisted, dipping to meet her hungry kiss again. She allowed herself to get lost in the moment again for a few seconds, running her hands just below the hem of his shirt. Cory didn't even attempt to go beyond kissing as he held her, fully happy to bask in the taste of her lips and the warmth of her touch. Finally, they both pulled away breathlessly.

Angela turned away from Cory, moving toward the edge of the bed. She covered her mouth as she looked at the floor, searching for the right words. "I'm going to go take that shower," she announced quietly. Without another word, she grabbed her bag and headed for the bathroom.

Once he was alone again, Cory punched the mattress with frustration. He couldn't believe he had gotten so caught up in the moment. Raking his fingers through his hair, he crawled off the bed and headed toward the window. Sitting on the sill, he gazed across his backyard to Mr. Feeny's house. For as long as he could remember, the teacher had lived next door to the Matthews family. He had watched all four children grow up, teaching all of them on some level at some point. He'd even helped Joshua after school when his first grade teacher noticed he had trouble reading. Thanks to Mr. Feeny, the boy was now reading two grade levels ahead of the rest of his class.

He could hear the water start in the bathroom, her beautiful singing voice barely audible above the rush of the shower. She was singing an old blues standard, her tone full of nothing but sadness. He felt even guiltier before. Knowing that he couldn't stay in his bedroom any longer, he decided to climb out the window and visit his old neighbor. If he passed through the kitchen, he'd have to explain. Shimming down the old maple tree outside the window somehow seemed like the logical thing to do.

Letting himself drop onto the dewy grass, he checked the kitchen to make sure no one was watching. Relieved to find his mother's back to the window, he hopped the fence and knocked on Mr. Feeny's backdoor. "Ah, yes, Mr. Matthews, I had a feeling you'd be appearing on my doorstep soon."

"How did you know?" Cory asked as Mr. Feeny stepped aside to let him in the kitchen. Cory took his usual place at the head of the kitchen table and waited for his cup of coffee. While many of their conversations had taken place in the backyard while he gardened, his teacher knew that they needed privacy. "Which one called you?"

"Well, Eric was the first. He called me yesterday afternoon when you were on the train ride here. He was very worried about you."

"I can't believe that after all these years, Eric is the one worried about me," Cory laughed humorlessly. "I guess I probably sounded pretty bad when I called him. I wasn't in the best place when we talked."

"Well, your brother was quite concerned, but he felt a bit better knowing that you had a companion with you. How is Ms. Moore?"

"Angela," Cory smiled, "she's great. I mean, she's taking it pretty hard too, but we're doing our best to help each other out. I feel like she's the only one who could understand, and I think she needs me. She doesn't have a lot of people in her life." 

"Speaking of which, Mr. Hunter was the next person who called me," Mr. Feeny continued. "He told me the things that Eric left out. I have to admit, I'm not sure what I would do if I were in your position. It's quite a quandary."

"Those are your words of wisdom? I expected you to have something a little more concrete for me. I mean, you've been able to help me figure everything else in my life," Cory spoke up before becoming quiet. "When did she call?"

"This morning," he responded. "She wanted to make sure that you got here okay and to see if you had come by to see me. I didn't give her any details other than to say that you were with your family and seemed fine. She said that Eric called to tell her where you were."

"I don't want her to come here. I'm not going to be able to forgive her any time soon. It wouldn't do either one of us any good to see each other at this point. I need time to figure out what I want."

"She cried on the phone. It broke my heart."

"She annihilated mine."

"Yes, but there is something else troubling you. What else is there?"

He blushed and looked down at the navy mug in his hands. "I kissed Angela this morning."

"Cory! You know that's not a good idea."

"I know, but I couldn't help it. We were talking, lying on my bed, and she just looked so beautiful. I knew it was wrong, and she even tried to protest. But I couldn't listen; I was too wrapped up in the moment. Her skin was so smooth, she smelled so good – I guess it was just one of those perfect moments."

Mr. Feeny paced the length of the kitchen, his head bent in deep thought. He stopped at the stove and studied his image in the reflection of the microwave. Making a trek back toward the doorway, he knew he was about to fail his student for the first time in his life. "You can't use Angela to work through your own pain or get back at Shawn and Topanga. It isn't fair to her."

"It wasn't like that," he argued. "I really wanted to kiss her. We weren't even talking about them when it happened. I was telling her how much I appreciated her coming and how glad I was that she was here. I need her."

"Mr. Matthews, I don't know how Angela is feeling, but if I were in her position, I would be afraid that any kiss from you wouldn't have any true depth behind it. She had to push you away because she knows you are confused and she doesn't want to get hurt anymore than she already is."

"You're right," he relented. "I need to go back over there and talk to her. I should apologize and promise that I'm not going to put her in that position again. She deserves more than I can give her right now, and I'm really going to need her friendship."

Nodding thoughtfully, the teacher rested his hand on Cory's shoulder. "You know the right thing to do, and if you don't, you know where to find me for help."

"Thanks, Mr. Feeny," Cory retorted, dropping his empty mug into the sink. With a casual wave, he headed back through the yard and into the kitchen. His mother looked at him confusedly as he shut the door behind him. "I'm going to go upstairs and get Angela. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Okay, Cor," Amy said without any questions. She watched as he escaped up the back staircase, listening to the familiar patter of feet overhead.

Slipping back into his bedroom, he arrived just in time to hear the water shut off. Sitting in his old desk chair, he waited for Angela to come out. Just as he was about to call his school to check on his class, he spotted her suitcase sitting open on the futon. She'd forgotten her clothes. Right on cue, Angela came out of the bathroom, her dark body wrapped in a snow white towel. A terrycloth white headband held her hair back from her eyes.

"Cory," she said as he said, "Angela." They both laughed awkwardly. Cory picked up the folded clothes off the top of her bag and brought them over. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I shouldn't have done that."

"It's understandable. I just don't want it to happen again. It can't."

"I know that it wasn't right to kiss you, but I want you to know that I didn't do it because I was hurt. I kissed you because I wanted to," he said. "I've wanted to kiss you since that night in the bar. You looked so beautiful. If we were different people in a different situation, I think I would have."

Crimson crawled up her neck. "I'm glad that it wasn't about them, Cory. I mean, if something was to ever happen between us, I'd want to know that it was because you wanted to be with me, not because you are hurt or want to punish them. I've already had my heart broken once. I don't want to lose my new best friend, too."


	7. Chapter 7

She sat alone at in an olden wood booth, a place she hadn't haunted in years. Her hair hung loosely around her face in ringlets, designer jeans hugging her hips in all the right places. Unaware that every man in the place was staring at her, she tapped her pencil against the table as she tried to think of the next words to put on the page. Chewing on the pink eraser absently, she realized how long it had been since she had writer's block. Looking around the room, she felt her skin turn a distinct shade of red as her eyes met his.

Sauntering down the staircase and into the café, he spotted her immediately. With a crisp white shirt and stack of books, she was the epitome of the bohemian writer he had long known her as. Her olive eyes burned into his as she trailed her fingers through her hair self-consciously. She liked the way he looked at her, as though she was the only person in the world that mattered. No one had ever gazed at her like that. It was almost as if they'd both stop breathing if either of them looked away.

Walking over to the counter, he leaned across casually and waited for someone to take his order. A minute later, with two cups of coffee in hand, he slid into the booth opposite her. Handing her the mug, she grinned at him over the edge of the glass. "Thanks," she remarked nonchalantly before turning back to the notebook in front of her. She was trying to play it cool, believing that she could play off the situation as if it was nothing. Glancing up, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw that he was still looking at her. "Stop."

"I can't," he retorted. "You're just so damn beautiful." His voice was genuine and chilled her to the bone. She'd heard that she was beautiful many times before, but none of them had ever mattered to her. Whether it was a guy in a bar or a stranger on the train or the old man at the newsstand outside her apartment, she was used to the compliment. But coming from his pert lips, the words were almost foreign to her.

Looking down at the paper and then back up at him, she smiled widely. "How am I supposed to stay angry at you when you use lines like those? I came here to concentrate and write. The last thing I need is you staring at me for the next hour."

"How am I supposed to not stare when you are sitting there looking like that?" he shot back. "Besides, I didn't know you would be here. I mean, you're the one in my favorite restaurant in town."

"My favorite restaurant in town," she corrected him. "And I guess that's really your problem. Now, I've asked you not to stare, so please obey my wishes or you'll live to regret it."

"Oh, what are you going to do to me? You're such a little thing, I doubt you could actually hurt me. Although, I might enjoy it if you were to try – you are pretty hot."

"Cory!" Angela squealed, saying his name for the first time since he showed up. "You promised me that you were going to just be my friend. Your incessant comments aren't going to help the cause. We really need to stick to the program if you're going to be my friend."

"I'm sorry," he apologized yet again. "If you really want me to go, I'll leave. I just thought that you maybe could use the company. I figured you would come here to write. I was tired of hanging out at the house, so I came by."

"I told you that I'd be back soon. I just wanted to get some writing done. It usually helps clear my head," she explained. "Of course, my stress is usually over work. I wrote a lot when my dad was sick. In those final months, I wrote some of the best stuff of my career. I kind of thought maybe this would give me the same kind of inspiration. Unfortunately, it's not."

"Well, I have to admit, that's not the only reason I came by. There's something I didn't tell you earlier. They know we're here. They both called Feeny."

Angela didn't appear to be surprised by the thought. She knew that they would figure it out rather quickly. I mean, it's the one place they would both run to if it happened to them. More than likely, they would have even ended up on the Mathews' doorstep. "How long do you think we have until they come?"

"I'd say Topanga will take the first train out this afternoon. I talked to my parents about everything. My mom had filled Dad in on most of the details anyhow. They have agreed not to interfere in anything. I was afraid they'd try to fix it," Cory rambled. "My mom is pretty hurt by Topanga and Shawn both. She feels like they've betrayed the entire family. She loved them like her own children. It almost hurts more to see her going through this than to go through it myself."

She reached across the table and covered his hand. "Cor, your mom is just worried about you. She can handle this," she promised. "What are we going to do when they come?"

"I think Shawn will follow her. He's going to try to reconcile with you in case Topanga and I can work things out. And if we can't – which we won't – he wants to be the one to catch her. He's been alone his entire life. I think, more than anything, he just doesn't want to be alone. He's lost us; he can't stand the thought of losing her too."

"I still want to know why. I want to know how they ended up in bed together. I want to know why they kept it going for so long. I want to know how we got here."

Topanga sat on the marble counter of Shawn's airy kitchen, her legs crossed at the ankle as she poured over the business section of the _Times_. She could hear the shower running in the other room, Shawn singing a commercial jingle and an ambulance make its way outside. Drinking a sip of her hot lemon tea, it struck her how normal it felt for her to be in his loft like this. It was as if they did every morning and had perfected the little routine. Folding the newspaper in half, she reached for the world news page just as the water turned off in the bathroom.

"Good morning, gorgeous," Shawn greeted her. A white towel clung to his hips as he came into the kitchen. Stopping to kiss her deeply, he licked his lips as he pulled away. "How about I make you some breakfast? We can have whatever you want."

"Breakfast, Shawn? It's already past noon. Besides, if we are going to make the train, we need to leave pretty soon," she retorted. Handing him the sports section, she went back to reading a story about the war while he scanned the box scores. "Our tickets are for the 3:30 train. We can pick them up at the station."

"Great," he muttered, throwing the paper back onto the counter beside her. Stepping between her legs, he rubbed his fingers down the smooth skin and wrapped her around his body. She entwined her hands around his neck as he pressed his forehead to hers. "Do we have to go? I don't want to face them. They're still so angry, they probably won't even want to see us. It'll be a waste of time."

Topanga kissed his cheek, the warmth of her lips against his skin a reassuring gesture in a seemingly lost cause situation. "We have to try, Shawn."

"What are we trying to do here, Topanga? Are we trying to make amends or get them back? Why don't you tell me what our goal is here because I'm not sure I know what you want here," he stated angrily.

"Don't be like that," she pleaded. "I don't know why we're going, but you know that we have to go. Cory means too much to both of us."

"If he meant so much to you, then why did you sleep with me? Why did you keep sleeping with me? You told me that you loved me, and I believed you, T. I let myself fall in love with you."

"I do love you," she replied quietly. "But I love Cory, too."

"You can't have both of us," he responded, looking her straight in the eyes. "You are going to have to choose. I don't want to go back to Philadelphia to help you two get back together. I've been on that ride too many times."

"What happened that night, Shawn? How did we get ourselves in this place," she asked. "You told me that we could talk about it, so let's do it. I want to figure this out just as much as you do. I want to have an answer the next time he asks me why. I want to show both of them that this wasn't about nothing."

"How could you call our love nothing?" Shawn asked angrily. "You're no better than anyone I've ever had in my life. I've always been treated like I was second-rate by everyone…everyone except Cory."

"I wasn't implying that we don't mean anything," she proclaimed. "Right now, Shawn you pretty much mean everything to me."

Shawn moved his hands down to hold her ankles. "It was the night that you and Cory got into that big fight. You guys argued about kids again, and you showed up at my apartment with a bottle of vodka and a tear-stained face. I listened to you for awhile while we did shots. I remember reaching up to brush away a trail of mascara that had run down your cheek."

"We were drunk the first night, but what about after that? Why did I keep coming back? Why did you keep letting me in?"

"You were looking for an escape clause," he told her. "You wanted to get out of your life with Cory. You weren't ready to have kids, and you knew that an affair with me would break your relationship beyond repair. The only thing you didn't count on was actually falling for me. I certainly didn't think I'd fall for you."

Topanga looked at him as if everything had finally clicked in her head. She had never realized how she'd used Shawn to deal with her own issues. "So why did you stay?"

"Because I wanted to know what it was like to be Cory. I wanted to know how it felt to have someone need you. No one had ever needed me before, but you did," he said. "I was filling an empty place in your heart. I had somewhere that I fit. I loved that about you from the first night. Eventually, I fell in love with you for about a million different reasons."

Running her down his cheek, she felt the familiar weight of his face in her palm. "We filled an empty place in each other. We were both in love with other people, but it wasn't enough. There was still something missing."

"And it's going to stay missing if you go back to him, Topanga. There's no hope for Angela and me. She won't take me back, and honestly, I couldn't be with her even if she could. Too much time has passed since college. When she showed up, I thought that she could be my last chance for having someone. I know you were starting to think about breaking it off. I didn't want to end up with nothing afterward. I knew that everything would be different once you did."

"I started to break up with you probably twenty different times, but every time I'd show up here, I couldn't do it. I'd see you, and my resolve would fade away. I didn't want to be the one to break your heart. I couldn't."

"So where does that leave us? Why are we going back to Philly?"

"We're going to get him back," Topanga said. "I don't know how he is going to come back to us, but we have to try."

"Maybe you should go alone."

"He's my husband."

"He's been my best friend my entire life. Let's not play the game of who cares about him more, Topanga? Up until this, I am the only person who has never left him."

"But you have left him, Shawn. You left him every single time you ran away. I was the one who was left behind to pick up the pieces."

"So, neither one of us are perfect."

"But he deserves better than us," Shawn said. "He deserves perfect."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that he needs Angela."


	8. Chapter 8

Shawn stood next to Topanga at the train station, his hand resting on the wall between them. She leaned against his body, huddling herself from the unusually frigid spring wind. "It'll be here in a few minutes," he promised. Wrapping his arm around her waist absently, he retrieved his cell phone from his pocket. Pushing the speed dial for the third number in his phone, he waited anxiously for the phone to connect. "Hello?"

"Hey," Jack said from the other end. He had heard about everything from Eric over dinner last night with Rachel. All three were worried about the formerly dynamic foursome, but there was little they could do. Jack was Shawn's brother, and Eric was Cory's. Sides were already predetermined. Rachel, on the edge as always, had vowed to stay out of it. She naturally sided with Cory and Angela, but didn't want to betray her relationship with Jack. "What's going on? Where are you?"

"We're going to Philadelphia. I have to see Cory to try to fix this," Shawn told his brother. He knew that Jack would be able to fill in the blanks. "I really messed up this time, Jack."

Jack snorted. "Yeah, you did, Shawn. You lost both of them at once, maybe for good."

Letting go of Topanga, the tall brunette man started to wander aimlessly along the depot. "I keep telling myself that I still have her, but I can't help but question just how long that is going to last. She hasn't said one way or the other what she wants, but I know that part of her still loves Cory. I mean, a part of me loves Angela."

"I know you love Angela, but are you _in love_ with her? I mean, I can tell that you are obviously in love with Topanga, but I don't get that same feeling about your old flame. When Rachel and I found each other again, I knew right away that she was what I had been missing. With Angela, it almost seems like you jumped into it because you knew you couldn't have Topanga. That's not fair to her, Shawn. She deserves better."

"I know she does," Shawn admitted. "All three of them deserve better than me. Cory deserves a better best friend, Angela deserves a better fiancée and Topanga deserves a better…well, whatever I am to her. Hell, you even deserve a better brother. I don't understand how any of you have all loved me for so long."

Jack sighed over the phone line, filling Shawn's ear with static. "We loved you because and despite yourself, Shawn," he explained. "It's not always easy, but it's always been worth it. I'm not going to turn my back on you now, but you have to know that things can't go back to the way they were. It's possible that you might have lost something here."

"I lost a lot, Jack," he told his brother. "Besides Angela, I lost the person I trusted the most in the world the second I betrayed Cory. I lost twenty years of friendship. I lost a family that was willing to make me one of its own – two parents that have loved me without reason or limitation, an older brother who has always treated me like his other siblings, a little sister who looks up to me as the epitome of cool and a little brother who helped us all appreciate life again. I lost a huge part of who I am."

"Well, when you get to Philly, I think you have a lot of apologizing to do, and not just to Cory and Angela. I think you both owe an apology to Amy and Alan. They've loved you both like their own. I used to be so jealous of that when I first met you all because it was like I didn't quite belong."

"And now? How do you feel now?"

"I have a family, and they are apart of it. The Matthews have been very kind to Rach and me over the years. We've spent holidays when them. They were great to me when my parents got a divorce and when my stepfather disowned me. They've made all the difference."

Topanga called his name and waved, pointing up to the schedule board overhead. Their train was due in any minute. "I have to go," he said as the whistle blew. "The train is almost here. She's calling for me." Closing the phone, he slipped it into his pocket and ambled to where she was poised. He framed her face in his palms and kissed her deeply. It must have caught her off guard as he felt her breath fall shallow. "Jack and Rachel know."

"Eric must have told them," she responded knowingly, trailing her fingers through her long sandy locks. "Oh, well, it was only a matter of time. I guess he did us a favor. What did your brother have to say?"

"He'll support me, but he pointed out that I didn't just hurt Cory and Angela, I hurt everyone involved. I made it so that people have to choose sides, especially our families. I hurt the only real parents I have ever known."

Reaching out for his hand, Topanga stepped closer to him and rested her cheek against his chest. She could hear his soft heartbeat through the thickness of the corduroy jacket. "You didn't do this alone. I was there, too."

Tipping her chin so that she was peering up at him, Shawn searched her eyes for a glimmer of hope. "There's something I should probably say before we get on that train," he professed. "I've been thinking about it all morning, and I know that if I don't tell you before we leave, I'll live to regret it."

"Shawn, what is it? You're scaring me."

"I want you to choose me." She bit her bottom lip nervously, unsure what to say. He tried to must an encouraging smile but couldn't. "I know that you don't know how to when every instinct is telling you to run back to him, but I still want you to pick me. I want this trip to Philadelphia to be an ending to our past, a way to say goodbye to the people we no longer are. I'm not the same guy who came to New York seven years ago; you're not the same woman who married Cory a year before that. We've all changed, Topanga. You and I changed together while you and Cory drifted apart."

The train rushed past them, sending Topanga's hair flying around her face. She felt the hot air hit her all at once as the line of cars slowed and travelers started to pour out of every door. Without a word, Shawn reached down and lifted her bag onto his shoulder. Pulling the other suitcase behind him, he gently guided her toward the conductor. She handed off their tickets and tucked the stubs back into her jacket. When the luggage was stowed away, they fell into their seats. Several minutes had passed, and they were still yet to say anything else. Finally, she turned to him. "I don't know what to do, Shawn. When it comes down to it, I just don't know what to do."

Cory and Angela were back at the playground that same afternoon, only this time in broad daylight to watch Joshua play in his soccer game. Dressed in his periwinkle jersey and black shorts, he looked like a miniature Cory chasing the ball up and down the grassy field. Both of them cheered at his every move, clapping and stomping with the rest of the proud parents in the crowd. Alan and Amy were next to them, camcorder in hand as the recorded their youngest child's every achievement. Even Morgan had managed to make it, taking the day off from work. Only Eric was missing, and everyone in the family could feel it.

Just as Joshua headed toward the goal, Cory felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he was happy to see Eric's name flash across the screen. Pushing the connect button, he grinned as he greeted his brother. "He's about to score!" Cory exclaimed over the roar of the crowd.

"I can't believe I'm missing it," Eric grumbled happily in his ear. "Give him a hug after the game for me. But that's not why I called. I told Jack, and he just called to let me know that they are on their way."

"Mr. Feeny already told me they'd called him, but I appreciate the heads up."

"I'm going to come down tonight, Cor. I know you're not going to ask me to, but I think you might actually need me right now."

Cory felt slightly relieved that he didn't have to ask him to come to Philadelphia. "Eric, you know that would really mean a lot. Mom and Dad have been great, and I need Angela so much…but you're my brother and now, you're my only best friend. I could really use your advice and support."

"Tell Mom and Dad that I'll be there after dinner. I might bring Jack and Rachel with me. I feel like we all need to be together right now. Maybe it's time for a little Philadelphia reunion."

"I don't know if there's enough room…"

"I'll call Feeny and the Dean. I'm sure that they'll let them stay over there. I can bunk with you in our old room or take the couch."

"Angela has been sleeping on the bed, I've had the floor."

"Way to go, Cor!" his brother cheered teasingly.

"I'm still a married man," Cory replied bitterly. "Unlike my wife, that still means something to me." Angela caught the last comment and looked at him sharply. He knew that he was no longer totally innocent, but he wasn't ready to confess his latest sin to Eric quite yet. He wanted to do it when they were in the same place. "I should let you go. I can't wait to see you, Eric."

"I know, Cor, I know."

Angela took the phone from him and put it into her pocket. "No more phone calls for the rest of the afternoon. This is about Joshua, forget our own problems. You're here to watch him, so be here for him."

"Eric's coming."

"I know. I'm glad."

"Shawn and Topanga will be here in a few hours. Eric is going to get in after dinner. He is going to ask Jack and Rachel."

"Great!" she exclaimed happily. "I can't wait to see Rachel."

"Only you could ever find joy in a situation like this," he chuckled. "I'm over here freaking out about everyone being in the same place at the same time in so long, and you are exciting about seeing Rachel. I love it."

They stared at each other for a minute until a loud round of whistles indicated that the game was over. Snapping back to attention, Cory and Angela saw Joshua running across the grass toward them. He didn't care about his juice box and cupcake, which was usually the first thing on his mind after a game. He just wanted to know if his big brother saw his goal. "Did you see? Did you see?" he squealed as he reached Cory, who gracefully gathered him up in a hug. "I won us the game! We won, we won, we won!"

"I know, I'm so proud of you, buddy. Eric and I both are."

"Eric?"

"Eric is going to come tonight to visit both of his brothers. All four of the Matthews kids are about to reunited," he revealed. "He can't wait to see you."

"Eric's coming?" Amy asked excitedly. "All my babies are going to be in the same place at the same time. I haven't had that since last Thanksgiving."

Alan put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "Shawn's coming, isn't he?"

Amy looked at Cory as he nodded past Joshua's shoulder. The little boy looked up at his brother. "Shawn is coming? What about Topanga? I miss them too!"

"They're both coming to Philadelphia, Josh," Angela told them, "but they're going to be busy. We might even see them."

"Why wouldn't she come with you, Cory?" he asked innocently.

He looked up at his father for help. Alan stepped in, taking Josh into his arms. "We don't need to worry about that right now," he assured his son. "All you need to think about is that our entire family is going to be together. Your mom and me, Eric, Cory, Morgan and Angela are all going to be at the house. We'll have a big dinner."

"Jack and Rachel are coming too," Angela spoke up.

"Yay! Jack! He can sleep in my room."

"He loves Jack," Cory explained to Angela in a whisper. Then, looking at his brother, he quickly set him straight. "He is going to stay next door with Mr. Feeny."

"Maybe Mr. Feeny will let me stay over there…" he said. "Mommy, can I borrow your phone to ask Mr. Feeny if I can have a sleepover with Jack?"

"We'll figure something out," she promised.

"This is the best day ever!" he cried, clapping his hands.

As Cory watched his parents and Morgan wrangle the exuberant little boy toward the car, he couldn't help but admire his optimism. While his insides were a jumble of confusion and dread, he had to admit that it had been a pretty great day up until now. He knew that it would likely change upon the arrival of the two people he wanted to see least, but as Angela grabbed his hand and pulled him after her, he suddenly didn't care anymore. Even without Topanga and Shawn, Cory Matthews still had it all.


	9. Chapter 9

"Mr. Hunter," the older man said, opening the door to allow the well-toned writer into his small but familiar home. Stepping to the side, he smiled brightly at the woman in tow, her hair pulled back in a braid similar to the one she wore the first day of school all those years ago. "Ms. Lawrence."

"It's Mrs. Matthews now," she corrected him politely, earning a harsh glance from Shawn. Topanga tried to hide her discomfort as she took a seat on the floral print couch in the formal living room. Shawn flanked her left side while Mr. Feeny selected the hand-carved rocking hair across from them. "How are you feeling? I'm sorry that it's been such a long time since I've come to visit. Work has been busy."

"So I hear," he said with a gentle smile. "I'm feeling fine. I've finally decided to retire at the end of the year so that the Dean and I can travel. We've taken an interest in antiques and plan to traverse much of the Northeast in search of some fine furnishings."

"That sounds lovely," she replied before leaning back against the couch. She could feel Shawn's hand resting on the small of her back, such a small but well-defined gesture. They both knew that it had more meaning than it should. Shifting slightly so that she could no longer feel his skin against her body, she avoided the sidelong look he was giving her. "I suppose you know what has brought us here."

"Cory came to see me this morning. I'm well aware of the situation. I must say, I'm rather disappointed in both of you. I never thought that something like this would happen between you, Shawn."

"Neither did I, sir," he admitted respectfully. "I'm truly sorry that my actions have hurt both Cory and Angela, but I can't apologize for what I've done. I don't regret my decisions. I have accepted responsibility for this. I can't feign innocence when I have chosen to pursue and maintain my affair with Topanga."

"This really isn't any of my business, but Cory came to me, clearly confused and hurt. I think he wanted me to tell him what to do or to give him a reason this all happened. I know that things happen in life sometimes that we can't explain or take back. Maybe this is one of those things for both of you."

Shawn raked his fingers through his hair, hating the distance that was now between him and Topanga. There was nothing he could say to Mr. Feeny that the man didn't already know. "We came by here to see if we could stay. I know it's asking a lot all things considered, but we don't really have any other choice outside a hotel. If you can't, we understand."

"I'm sorry," Mr. Feeny apologized, looking from Shawn to Topanga. "Under ordinary circumstances, I would be happy to open my home to you, but unfortunately, I already have house guests coming in. I'm afraid you will have to find somewhere else."

"Oh, you do? Is Angela staying here?" Topanga asked innocently.

Mr. Feeny looked down at his hands and shook his head. "She is staying next door with the Matthews. Actually, Eric called earlier this afternoon to see if Rachel and Jack could stay with us. They're all coming for a visit, and there's just not enough room next door with Morgan and the others all home."

"There's no room for us anywhere," Shawn said hollowly to Topanga. They were quickly becoming an island of themselves. There was something going on inside his head, but he couldn't put into words. It was an emptiness that he couldn't explain but one he knew he would forever have to live with. There was nothing anyone could do to make it easier for him; he just needed time. Well, time and Topanga.

She stood up suddenly and stepped forward to brush a chaste kiss on Mr. Feeny's cheek. "I have to go see him now," she announced to no one in particular. "It's time."

Shawn stayed behind as she left, watching her tense back as she retreated through the side door toward the Matthews house. He could see her pause outside their kitchen, bringing her hand up time and time again to knock, but she couldn't quite do it. "She can't do it," he told Mr. Feeny, who was also gazing over at the white house. "Maybe I should be the first one t go over there."

"Mr. Hunter, you know that Cory is not going to be able to forgive her for this," the teacher said. "I never I thought that I would see the day when the three of you would be at such a crossroads, but it has come. I expected it from you, but I'm surprised that she would do this to her husband and former best friend."

"You expected this from me?" he asked incredulously. "How can you say that? Cory is the one person I have always been loyal to."

"Exactly," Mr. Feeny replied. "Cory is the one person who has never abandoned you. You have made it your life's work to push away everyone that has ever truly cared about you. You did with Angela, Jack, Jon Turner…everyone else had been on the end of Shawn Hunter's rampage except Cory. Well, congratulations, Mr. Hunter, you've managed to alienate your best friend. You're all alone."

"I'm not alone," he shot back. "I still have Topanga."

He looked past Shawn forlornly at the beautiful woman. "Are you really sure about that?"

Topanga felt so restless as she stood outside the Matthews kitchen, peering through the window at the family spread around the round table. It was a familiar sight, and she had been a part of that picture more times than she could count. Her place had always been between Cory and Morgan, a spot now filled by Angela. They were laughing and talking animatedly while eating pizza from the family's favorite place in the city.

She noticed how close Angela's chair was to Cory's, the way he would touch her arm when he said something to her or how she'd fill his cup when it was empty. It was hard to see someone take her place so easily, so effortlessly. Just as she was about to reach up and finally knock, someone caught her eye from inside. Amy looked at her daughter-in-law inauspiciously before leaning over to murmur something in her husband's ear. Alan glanced up as well, his face immediately crumpling into a tight frown. Within seconds, Joshua, Morgan and Angela had followed his gaze toward the driveway. Cory was the last to look up.

Cory glanced over at Angela. "I guess the party has finally arrived," he mumbled before standing up. Dropping his napkin in his chair, he turned back and glanced at his wife. "I'll be right back," he told his family.

"We'll save you a piece of chocolate pie," Angela promised him, grabbing his hand as he passed by. Cory squeezed her fingers in a sign of understanding.

"Actually," Amy announced, "why don't we take this into the living room so that you can invite Topanga in? You two shouldn't have to do this in the driveway. We'll give you some privacy."

"Thanks, Mom," he said, helping his parents wrangle the food into the living room. Before disappearing out of the kitchen, he waved his hand, permitting Topanga to enter. "I'll be right back."

In the living room, Alan quickly cleared off the table and made room for the family to finish the meal. Morgan distracted Joshua, all the while wondering what was going on. She had always hated being the youngest because no one had ever told her what was up. Now in college, she thought she should qualify to be in the loop, but apparently not. Her brothers had always wanted to protect her. As Joshua chirped on and on about the soccer game, she brought her focus back to the youngest member of the family and soon fell easily into a conversation with her parents.

Cory stood outside the kitchen door, watching over his family with a wide smile. Angela looked up, surprised to still see him in the room. "Why are you still here?" she asked as she sidled up next to him. Following his eyes toward the members of the Matthews family scattered on the floor, she understood. "She can't take this away from you."

He nodded knowingly before slipping his arm around her shoulders. "I just realized that I still have so much, even if I don't have her. Today has been a truly great day, and I just wanted to enjoy this moment. I wanted to cement it in my mind for when I fall back into the darkness."

"Come with me," she ordered, pulling him up the staircase. Silently, he followed her down the hallway until they were at the other set of stairs that led to the kitchen. Leaning against the wall, she looked over at him finally. "I'm not going to let you fall back into the darkness. I promised you that I was going to help you get through this and I meant it."

"I have to go down there and try to figure this all out. Do you know how much I don't want to do that? I was hoping that she would just give up and that I could go on without her. I wanted to enjoy my time with my family and with you, but she had to go and ruin that. Topanga used to know me better than anyone, and if she still knew me, she would know that the last thing I want to do right now is see her."

"She's not thinking about you right now, Cor, she's thinking about herself. She knows the mistake she made, and she is ready to fight like hell to make it right," Angela explained. "What you need to remember is that she can't make you do anything you don't want to do. You are the one in control of your life now. For the first time in as long as I have known you, you need to make the choice that is best for you, not for her."

He hated that she knew him so well because he couldn't deny that he'd never put himself first. She grinned as if she could read his mind before wrapping her arms around him. Running his hands down her back, he wanted to stay like that forever, but he knew that he couldn't. He had to go face his real life. "Alright, I'm going to go do this now, and when I'm finished, I want to take our friends for drinks. Eric should be here with Rachel and Jack any minute. The five of us deserve a little reunion over some alcohol after all this time."

"Sounds perfect," she assured him. Impulsively, she lunged forward and kissed him briefly. Cory closed his eyes and he drew her back to him. They didn't kiss again; he just wanted to hold her. Forehead against forehead, he could feel her eyelashes flutter against his cheek as she closed her eyes as well. Their breaths fell into unison to create the only sound in the air. Finally, breaking the spell, Angela turned away from him with frustration. "Why do I keep doing this to you? It's not fair."

"It's more than fair," he avowed. "It's what I want." She smiled at him faintly and traced her hand down his cheek. "We'll talk about this later. Right now, I have to go downstairs and talk to her."

"I know," Angela said, following him down the stairs. When they reached the kitchen, she couldn't help but feel the mean girl in her come out just a little. Topanga deserved a small taste of her own medicine. "I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower. I'll be waiting for you in our room when you get done."

Cory bit his lip to stifle a hearty chuckle that was fighting to escape from his lungs. With a sly smile, Angela swept through the kitchen and into the living room. Pulling out an empty chair for his wife, he sat down opposite from her. "Well, go ahead. Why are you here?" 

For the first time since Cory had found her with Shawn, he didn't seem angry and she'd didn't feel like crying. Instead, he looked apathetic, and she felt numb. "I came here to tell you why I slept with Shawn. You asked me to tell you, but I didn't know then. I have an answer now."

"Tell me."

"I slept with Shawn because he wasn't you," she said simply. "Our entire lives are entwined, Cory, so much that everything you have ever wanted, I've wanted, too. And I know that the feeling has been mutual; you gave up your life here for me. But there was one thing you wanted that I couldn't give you. I couldn't give you children."

"I told you that if all we ever had was each other, I would be okay with that, Topanga. You are the one who decided _for me_ what I wanted and didn't want. Sure, I wanted to have children with you, but I wanted to be your husband more. If you had bothered to talk to me, you would have figured that out."

"So, you and Angela seem close," she ventured as she stood up and headed over to the kitchen. Automatically, she pulled her cup from the cabinet and filled it with lemonade from a glass pitcher. It was a tall tumbler in a light pink hue. Amy had added it to the shelf where she kept the rest of the color-coded glasses for the rest of the family.

"We are," he confirmed noncommittally, not offering another details. "So, where are you two staying? I mean, I am assuming that Shawn is in town. My guess is that he's next door with Mr. Feeny. I'm sure you've already heard there's no room at the inn."

"He said Rachel and Jack are coming down with Eric. It will be nice for you all to be together again," she replied vaguely. She was hoping that somehow, he would find it in his heart to invite her. When he didn't say anything in return, she knew that it wasn't likely. "I know that you don't really want to see me, but maybe we could have lunch or something. We could go to Chubby's and have a clown burger. You used to collect the hats."

He thought about his old hobby and how different life had been in those days. "I used to do a lot of things," he told her sadly before walking toward the door. Opening it, he waited for her to grab her purse and pass him. On her way by, Topanga stopped and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. As she walked out the door, his eyes drifted over to the fence. He could see Shawn staring back at him.

Behind him, he could hear someone come into the room and as the faint scent of cinnamon passed by him, he knew that it was Angela. She slipped next to him, immediately wrapping her arm around his waist. He turned and looked at her, clad in a stark white sundress. "He's over there," he said softly, smiling down at her. He enjoyed the little show he knew she was putting on for Shawn's benefit. She'd struck both of them in the place where she knew it would hurt the most.

"I know," she whispered, turning so that her body was flush against his. Snaking her arms around his neck, her slender fingers moved up to play with his curls. Cory rested his hands on her hips, his thumbs spanning her slim waistline. "You really want to make him mad? You could kiss me."

"I could kiss you," he said, "but the next time I kiss you, I want it to be because it's what we both want. And I know that it's something that we both want, so don't even try to tell me that it's not."

"I won't," she professed as she turned around in his arms to look over at her now ex-fiancée.

Reaching up, Cory closed the curtain to block his view into their lives. "There's nothing there for us anymore," he told her. "I'm ready for our real lives to begin."


	10. Chapter 10

"Angela!" Rachel squealed excitedly as she ran up the cement sidewalk in front of the Matthews house. Her long red hair trailed behind her in the wind, its ends barely escaping the floppy white had sitting upon her head. "I am so excited to see you. I can't believe it's been so long. It's been too long!"

Angela nodded just as the woman sprinted into her open arms. Hugging her tightly, the two jumped up and down, bubbling with excitement. Cory watched from the doorway, leaning against the jamb while enjoying the joyful reunion. Finally, after a few minutes, Angela pulled away and grinned up at her former roommate. "It's so great to see you. I didn't know how much I missed you until just this second."

"I'm just glad to have a little female company," the redhead laughed. "Besides, now the guys won't make fun of me when I order fruity drinks at dinner. Jack always makes fun of my pink and turquoise cocktails."

"Angela likes whiskey," Cory teased as he appeared beside them. Angela reached over and bumped him playfully. He chuckled heartily before kissing Rachel on the cheek. "How was Texas?"

"It was great to see my family," she smiled. "But I missed Jack. I was kinda scared about leaving him alone with Eric in New York. I mean, you know what happened last time I was gone. I'm still trying to get the smoke stains out of the carpet and drapes."

"Smoke stains?" Angela asked.

"Eric caught my living room on fire. He thought it would be a good idea to see how quickly a Kleenex would burn if you drop it in a candle. Apparently, it goes up in flames pretty quickly. The fire department was surprised to see that there wasn't much damage considering the bottle of vodka he dropped when it happened. He told me it scared him. I banned him from the apartment for a few months. If Jack wanted to play with him, he had to go over to Eric's."

Leaning back against Cory comfortably, Angela's entire body shook with laughter. "It sounds like some things never change," she commented. "Speaking of Eric, where is he? And where's Jack?"

"They're next door dropping off our luggage. I couldn't wait another minute to see you, so I just came over here right away. They'll be over in a minute."

"In the mean time, why don't we go inside? I can pour you ladies a glass of wine while you catch up?" Cory invited. "I need to confirm our reservations."

Angela looked up at him expectantly. "Sometimes I'm still shocked at how grown-up you are. I keep forgetting that you're not the same guy I knew in college."

Pulling her toward the door by the hand, he glanced back at her over his shoulder. "No, I'm certainly not. And I'm glad to say that you're not the same girl."

Rachel and Angela collapsed onto the sofa while Cory retreated to the kitchen to make the phone call and fetch their wine. As soon as he was out of earshot, Rachel grabbed Angela's hands excitedly and grinned at her. "What is going on with you and Cory? I definitely sensed some chemistry when we were outside. Spill, girl!"

Self-consciously running her fingers through her long hair, Angela looked down at her white sandals and pretty pedicure. "We've gotten pretty close rather quickly," she admitted. "If it wasn't for him, I'd still be caught up in my makeshift relationship with Shawn. He was honest with me when it was really hard, and he's held my hand through every second since. I've opened up to him about things I hadn't told anyone. He's quickly become probably the most important person in my life."

"Wow, so has anything romantic happened?"

"Well, we did kiss," she blushed. "It got pretty intense, but we both agreed that now probably wasn't the best time to jump into anything. There is definitely something between us, but I can't risk losing him right now. We talked about it earlier, and we both know that we want something to happen. I just want to make sure that when it does, it's about the fact that I want to be with Cory and not to get back at Shawn."

"That's probably pretty smart," Rachel commended her. "I'm sorry about what Shawn did."

"I just can't believe I didn't know."

"Don't feel bad. Cory lived here with them every day for the past several months, and he didn't see it," Rachel pointed out. "None of us did. Jack, Eric and I were all just as shocked as you guys were. It's really tore both of them up, especially Jack. He's been put in such a bad situation. He feels loyal toward Shawn, but he knows that his brother messed up royally. The two of them have basically elected not to talk about it. It's not fair to put them in the middle of anything."

"How about you, Rach? This can't be easy for you either."

She shrugged. "It's not, but what can I do? Jack loves his brother, and I love Jack. I could never ask him to understand why I disapprove of what Shawn did. I hate what he did to you both, but he is still going to be in my life. I have to find a way to coexist with him for my boyfriend's sake."

"Sorry it took me so long," Cory apologized as he slipped into the room, balancing a tray in his arms. Handing a goblet full of cabernet to Rachel and then Angela, the redhead noted how long his fingers landed on their friend's. "We have reservations at eight at Gino's. I felt like Italian, I hope you don't mine."

"You know I love Italian," Angela smiled as she took a long sip of red wine. Reaching over, she toasted Rachel briefly. "Where are the guys?"

"I'll go next door and get them," he offered. "I'll be right back."

"He's still so sweet," Rachel retorted appreciatively as the door swung behind Cory. "I cannot believe anyone would pass up the chance to be with him. He might not be as hot as Shawn, but he is definitely more dependable. What was Topanga thinking?"

"What was I thinking?" Angela laughed humorlessly. "I was going to marry that jerk. Shawn can be so great, romantic and sweet. He has the tortured soul of a poet, something that definitely spoke to the martyr in me. And after not really having a family for so long, I liked the idea of having someone to take care of. With Cory, it feels like there is finally someone around to take care of me. It's nice for a change."

"By the way he looks at you, I'd say the feeling is quite mutual," Rachel revealed. "His eyes are locked on you every second he's in your presence. And I see the way you two keep touching each other, even when it's not necessary. That's how Jack and I were in the beginning. Maybe this is going to turn into something bigger than either of you ever anticipated."

"He needs to figure out what he wants with Topanga first. I know he keeps telling me that it's over, but I'm not so sure that it is. Until I can see it in his eyes, I don't want to let him all the way in. He already knows too much, and if we go all the way, I'm risking an awful lot."

"You're risking a lot if you don't go there, too," Rachel reminded her. "Eventually, he is going to break through that tough wall you've put around yourself, Ang. Cory has this way of getting underneath your skin. He cares about the people in his life with an unmatched fierceness. I think it's in the Matthews' blood because I see it in his entire family. He finds a place in your heart and he boroughs a little hole just for him. And it's shaped just like Cory, meaning that no one else will fill it."

"They are quite a family," Angela acknowledged. "Alan and Amy have been great about letting me stay here without asking all these questions. They've talked to Cory about it some, but even that has been kept to a minimal. They've even treated me like I'm part of the family. Morgan and Joshua are great, too."

"Living so far away from my own family, the Matthews have been so great to Jack and me. We've spent birthdays and Christmases with them. Amy even put up stockings for us last year, filled to the hilt with candy and little gifts. She opened up her house and made it feel like home."

"That's part of my mom's charm," Eric explained as he rushed into the room. The two women stood up and turned to face the rambunctious man. He pushed Rachel out of the way and picked up Angela in a bear hug. "Yeah, you still feel as good as I remember."

"Eric!" she giggled. "It's about time you showed up, we're starving in here."

"And that's the only reason you're happy to see us?" Jack asked with a wide smile as he slipped next to his girlfriend. Lacing his arm around her waist, he leaned forward and brushed a chaste kiss over Angela's cheek. "So glad to know that we were missed."

"Of course we missed you, honey," Rachel told him complacently. "Now, can we go? My stomach is rumbling, and you know how cranky I get when I'm hungry."

"Let's go, Cor!" Eric bellowed to his little brother, who was yet to join them. "Where is he?"

"He was going next door to get you two. You didn't see him?" Angela inquired worriedly.

Eric shook his head. "That's weird."

"I'll go look for him. You guys go ahead. Cory will be upset if we lose our reservations," Angela said. "We'll take a cab and be right behind you. He couldn't have gone far."

"Okay," Jack said as he led Rachel toward the door. "We came around front. He probably went the back way. We must have barely missed each other. See you there."

"Bye," Angela called over her shoulder as she jogged toward the kitchen. Grabbing her handbag and phone off the counter, she stepped into the backyard to look for Cory. Peering across to Mr. Feeny's, she noticed that the lights were off and that the house was dark. Walking toward the side of the house, she was surprised to see Cory bent over, clutching his head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking, but she couldn't hear anything. "Cory?"

"I'll be there in a minute," he gasped between breaths, not looking up. "Go on."

"I'm not leaving you," she insisted, hiking up her skirt as she knelt on the ground in front of him. Reaching up, she slowly pried his hands from his face. Tears streaked his flushed face, eyes swollen from crying. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"They should be here," he sobbed. "When I saw you two reunite out there, it reminded me that she was missing. And then, when I saw Eric and Jack heading for my house, I thought of how many times Shawn and I had hung out here."

"So you avoided them?"

"I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"But I can see you."

"You're not just anyone," he professed as he stood up. Wiping away the tears with the back of his hand, he became frustrated when the wetness smeared across his cheek. Reaching up, Angela brushed them gently with her fingertips. "Thanks."

"You're the one who told me that they weren't in our life anymore, Cor. There's nothing there for us, remember?" she replied. "Let's just go to dinner. Our friends are waiting for us there."

Cory agreed and allowed Angela to call them a cab. By the time they arrived at the quaint Italian joint, Cory felt much better. They were laughing as the bustled into the restaurant, hands locked in a friendly hold. Angela had spotted their friends at a back table just prior to entry, knocking on the window to tell them they'd be there in a minute. By the time they found their way to the waiting area, they were completely ignoring everyone around them. That was until Angela's eyes met a familiar gaze and Cory's settled on a pair he knew as well as his own.

"What are you doing here?" he asked coldly.

Angela glared at them. "Are you stalking us now?"

"We just wanted to eat dinner," Topanga said. "We had nowhere else to go." 

"We're suddenly not welcome anywhere," Shawn spat.

"And that's my fault how?" Cory asked sarcastically. "Oh, that's right, it's not."

"Jack's my brother," Shawn reminded him. "He's on my side."

"Well, he's having dinner with us," Angela shot back. "Just like Eric and Rachel. It seems like we have them and you have no one."

"That's not true," Cory pointed out with a smirk. "They have each other, which, when you think about it, is pretty much the same thing."

"Cory, please don't," Topanga implored. "I thought…I mean, you were different earlier…why are you so angry again?"

"Because you made me miss you," he answered softly, "and I hate myself for that."

"You missed me?"

"I missed both of you, and I can't do that anymore. It's not fair to Angela to have to keep picking me up. I have to live my life without you two, and I have to admit, I don't know how I'm going to do that. I hope that the two of you are going to be happy together, though. I'd hate to think you threw all of this away over a fling."

"Cor…" Shawn tried.

"We have to get back to our friends," he announced to Angela before sliding his hand around her waist. Pulling her close to him, he guided her out of the room. Once they were out of shot, she turned around and grinned at him triumphantly. "I know, I was good."

"Yes, you were. I didn't know you had a conniving bone in you."

"I don't," he said, "but I have a protective bone in me. And that's what I was doing back there."

"Protecting yourself? Protecting me?"

"Us," he stated simply. "I was protecting us."


	11. Chapter 11

"So there I was, standing on this secluded cliff on a beach in Greece, and I realized that it was time to come home," Angela told her friends. "There wasn't anything for me in Europe, and I could do my job anywhere. I needed to come back to the only other family I've ever known beyond my dad. Looking at you all, I'm so glad that I did."

"Well, we're happy that you're here," Jack replied, lifting his wine glass toward the center of the table. "In fact, I'm happy that we're all here. It's been a long time since we were together like this. I know the circumstances aren't the greatest and are far from ideal, but it's nice nonetheless."

"Here here!" Eric toasted, tapping his glass against Cory's. He looked around the table at the four faces smiling at him and was filled with joy. "I would like to tell you all something. I've been thinking about it for awhile, but I feel like now is the right time."

"What's going on, Eric?" Cory asked cautiously. He knew his older brother pretty well, and his tone indicated that there was something heavy on his mind.

Eric looked at his brother and smiled warmly. "It's good news, Cor, I promise," he avowed. "As you know, Mr. Feeny decided to retire last year. In the interim, they found a teacher that has taken over his classes, but she never had any intention of becoming permanent. Mr. Feeny called me to talk about the position, and we both agreed that we had found the perfect replacement."

"You're not even a teacher," Rachel pointed out. "You're a creative director at an advertising agency. I hardly think that your experiences there are going to translate into the classroom."

"You're right," he agreed, "which is why I would never take the position. Instead, Mr. Feeny and the Philadelphia Public School District is prepared to make a very generous offer to Cory Matthews. He would not only take over the classes but he would also serve as the activities director for John Adams High School."

Cory felt his jaw drop. "They want me to take over for Feeny?"

Eric nodded. "He came to me a month ago and told me that he couldn't imagine anyone else that would be able to fill his shoes. I think he wanted to test the waters to see how likely you were to accept the position. I knew how much the offer would mean to you, even if it did mean coming back to Philadelphia."

"You'd be coming back to Philly," Angela said awkwardly, disappointment apparent in her voice. "That's a really great opportunity."

"That's not all I have," Eric said. "If Cory takes this position, he wouldn't be the only one coming back to the city. I've also been offered a position with the school district in marketing. I'll be leaving the agency in two weeks to move back here."

"I can't believe you're leaving New York," Rachel said sadly. She reached across the table to cover Eric's hand. He wasn't only Jack's best friend, he was also hers. He was a huge part of her life, and she couldn't imagine not seeing him every day. "What am I going to do without you?"

"I'm sad that I'm not going to be able to see you everyday too, Rach," Eric told her, reading her mind immediately. "But this is the right thing for me. My life isn't in New York anymore, even if a little part of my heart will be. There's something waiting for me back in Philly, I'm just not sure what. Besides, I want to see Joshua grow up. I missed on the last part of Morgan's childhood, I don't want to make the same mistake with him."

"If I take the job, the entire family is going to be in Philadelphia again," Cory realized. "I guess I don't really have any reason to stay in New York anymore, anyhow. Once I finish out the school year, it'd be a great time to get a fresh start. I think I'm going to do it."

Angela glanced at him, surprised that he was considering her as nothing. She shifted her body away from him, garnering attention from both Jack and Rachel. "I need to run to the ladies room," she excused herself. Rachel offered to come with her, but Angela insisted that she would be just a minute. Cory looked up at her questioningly, so she smiled reassuringly, "I promise I'm fine."

She could hear her friends chattering as she sauntered out of the room, happy to find a reprieve in the solitude of the waiting room between the men's and women's bathroom. Sitting down on the edge of the velvet chaise lounge, she watched a couple talking intently at the bar. They were sitting so close, her knee posed just between his. Every once in awhile, he'd reach over and brush a hair away from her eye or she would touch his shoulder while she talked animatedly. So in sync, they seemed like they had been together forever despite their young age.

"Something caught your eye?" she heard a familiar voice asked, drawing her attention away from the couple. "They're beautiful together, aren't they?"

Angela nodded begrudgingly at Shawn. "I can't help but watch them. They know each other so well. It reminds me of how Cory and Topanga used to be. I was always so envious of them. Even when we were together, we didn't quite have that. I never quite had all of you." Her voice wasn't accusatory or angry but instead plain and ambivalent. She had long accepted everything she was expressing so freely.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" Shawn asked, nodding toward the empty spot next to her feet. Angela moved her legs to make room for him, not really caring what anyone would have to say about the situation. "We haven't really had a chance to talk since this all happened, at least not alone. I know you might not believe me, but I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You know what, Shawn, I do believe you. I know that you had no intention of hurting me when you asked me to marry you, but I don't think you ever had the intention of ever going through with it. I think that's the part that hurts the most. I think you used me to try to get over her. I think you wanted to be with me only because you couldn't be with her. You have to know that would kill me."

"I really thought that we would be able to love each other enough that I wouldn't even care about it anymore," he ventured. "I knew she would never leave Cory. We were so great together in high school. I don't know what I expected."

"I want to be angry at you, but I don't think I can. I'm so tired," she started to cry, her voice barely above a whisper. She could feel the tears welling up just beneath the surface. "So much has happened in the last year, Shawn. This is just one more thing on top of a string of instances that have left my heart shattered. I thought you would be the one thing that actually worked out for me, but I was very wrong."

"There's something more," he retorted knowingly. "There's something you're not telling me."

"Cory's leaving New York."

"Cory is leaving?" Topanga said from behind them, her eyes wide. She glanced at Shawn. "You had been gone awhile, I got worry."

"Angela, where are you?" Cory called, jogging around the corner. It tore him apart to see Shawn sitting with Angela. Topanga looked at him with shock. "What's going on?"

"I came to look for Shawn," Topanga replied.

"We were just talking," Angela said innocently.

"You don't have to explain," Shawn told her pointedly. "We weren't doing anything wrong."

"I don't feel like fighting," Angela remarked softly, brushing her tears away.

Cory looked at her with concern, sitting down on the floor next to her. "What's wrong?"

"You're leaving," Topanga announced.

"It's none of your business," he shot back.

"What about me?" Angela asked quietly. "Do I factor in?"

"Is that what this is about?" Shawn spoke up.

"Ang," Cory murmured. "You know that you do. I was going to talk to you about it, but I just found out at the same time as you did. It hasn't even sunk in. I'm still processing it. I hadn't though beyond the fact that I want to come home."

"You said there was nothing left for you in New York." Everyone looked at Cory, realizing that he had just dismissed each of them in very different ways. "I'll never be a factor if you consider me nothing."

"That's not what I meant at all. There is a lot we need to talk about, but I don't think this is the best place to talk about it," he gestured around the small room. "Come on, let's go back to dinner with everyone else. We can talk about it tonight when we go home."

Relenting, Angela took Cory's outstretched hand. "Thanks for the talk, Shawn," she called sadly over her shoulder as they headed back toward the table. The tall brunette looked back at her, his companion fading just behind him in the background. Gazing up at Cory, she saw trepidation in his eyes. Stopping, she felt his arm jerk with the sudden end to her momentum. He turned around, waiting for her to catch up. When she did, she threaded her arms around his neck and looked straight past his eyes and into his soul. "Cory, I'm asking you not to leave me."

Back on the chaise lounge, Topanga sat quietly next to Shawn. "That was hard."

"This is all hard, Topanga."

"Why are you angry at me?" she asked cautiously. "You finally have what you want. Cory has moved on to Angela, leaving me wide open for the taking. I figured you would be overjoyed."

"I don't want to win you," he retorted. "I want you to want to be with me. I don't want to be the default choice you're left with after the real prize walks away. I've always felt second-rate. I can't do that with you. Maybe we can't be together."

"I don't know what else to do, Shawn. I'm spent. Cory made the decision that I would have never had the heart to make. I couldn't leave him because I don't think I could stand the thought of him being alone."

"But you could take it if I was alone?"

"You've always been on your own. Cory has always been a part of me. I wasn't sure that either of us knew how to live without the other."

"That's exactly why I need you, Topanga," he revealed. "I've always been the one who has been alone. When life gets hard, Shawn takes off. But with you, I don't want to run away. I want to fight with you because it matters to me. I keep pushing you because this is actually what I want. I've never been able to figure out anything before, but I've managed to find two things I love and that I'm good at. I'm good at photography, and I'm good at being with you."

"And what am I good at?" she said pathetically, unsure of herself for maybe the first time in her life. She had always been confident in who she was, something instilled in her from an early age. However, without Cory as her backbone, she didn't feel sure of anything anymore. Looking up at Shawn, she wished that she could. His eyes were pleading for her to love him as freely as he seemed to love her. As he reached for her hand, she felt warmth creep over her body.

"You're good at this," he squeezed her fingers in his. "We're good at this. Just let me in, Topanga. Let me all the way in."


	12. Chapter 12

Hours later, Cory sat alone on the edge of the roof outside his bedroom, his long legs dangling freely into the brisk night air. He could see the faint light from a spare bedroom at Mr. Feeny's next door, the curtains drawn to only create an amber glow through the translucent fabric. A few streets over, he could hear a car alarm ringing blaring and a dog barking in response. Pulling one knee up to his chin, he closed his eyes and let the familiar sounds wash over him.

"Do you remember all the times I would climb out your window?" the most familiar voice in the world called up from below. "It seemed like I was always coming or going, trying to figure out where I belonged. Most of the time, I thought I could belong here."

"You did belong here, Shawn," Cory responded coldly. "We did everything we could to show you that we cared about and loved you. You were more than my best friend, you were my brother. My parents even offered to adopt you. I don't know what more we could do. We were your family."

"I see that now," he admitted, walking closer to the house. "I didn't want to believe in it because everything else I ever believed in ended up failing me. The people that I love all left me. If I ever gave in completely, I thought it was inevitable that you all would leave me, too. My parents both left, Jonathan, Angela…my track record isn't stellar."

Cory raked his fingers through the ends of his curly hair. "Why are you here, Shawn?"

"I didn't recognize my best friend tonight, and that made sadder than any single moment I have ever known short of losing my father," Shawn retorted. "And then, I found out you were leaving New York. A part of me thought, 'Great, I'll have her all to myself.' Then, I realized that having her meant losing you. It had never struck me like that. In that single moment, I realized everything I had done to you."

"I wish that I could tell you that everything is fine," Cory retorted sadly, "but I can't. I hate that there is this distance between us, Shawn, but you created it. I'm trying to figure out a way that this could all be okay. It's still just too fresh."

Shawn nodded knowingly, kicking a stone against the footing of the Matthews' home. He felt the familiar heaviness that had consumed his heart for much of his life. The easy thing for him to do would be to run; it was the one constant in his life. The hardest thing in the world for him would be to stay, but it would also be the thing that was most worth it. "I wish that there was something I could say. There isn't any way to justify what I've done. I guess the only thing I can really say is thank you. For all that you've done and all that you are, thank you. You were my best friend when I didn't even deserve it. You loved me even when I couldn't love myself. I don't think I'm going to like living my life without you."

"Cory, come back to bed," Angela's voice said distantly, causing Cory to turn back toward the dark bedroom. He smiled at her faint outline, watching her stir from beneath the covers. "Where are you?"

"I'm out here. I'll be right in," he promised, gathering himself before standing up. Looking back down, he watched as Shawn padded silently across the dewy grass. Just as his hand reached for the gate, Cory called out to him. "No matter what has happened between us, you're still my best friend. I am always going to be there when you really need me. I just can't be there right now for the times when you don't." And with that, Cory was gone. He crawled back through the window, slamming it shut behind him.

Shawn watched as Angela flipped on a light and Cory crawled under the quilt beside her. She said something, a coy smile playing across her lips. He laughed in response, cradling her chin in his palm affectionately. She turned and kissed his fingers, reaching with her free hand to turn off the lamp. He didn't stay any longer to watch what happened next; instead, he headed back to where he had parked his car across the street.

Topanga was asleep in the passenger seat, her honey blonde hair fanned over her eyes. He watched the soft rise and fall of her chest as he turned the ignition, bringing the engine to life. She peered over at him with hooded eyes before falling back asleep. Within minutes, he pulled the car into the hotel parking lot and carried her upstairs to their room. Laying her gently in the middle of the single bed, he gazed down at her. The glint of her diamond engagement ring caught his eyes, bringing him to his knees. Burying his face in his hands, he didn't know what to say.

"Shawn, what's wrong?"

"I talked to him. He promised me that he would always be there when I need him."

"Somewhere in your heart, I think you already knew that."

"I messed up," he mumbled. "I deserve for this to happen to me, but he doesn't. No one is worth what I did to Cory, not even you."

"Do you regret being with me?"

He stared at her blankly, searching for the right answer. His gut reaction was of course not, there was not an ounce of doubt in his body when it came to loving her. "No, I just regret that being with you means hurting him."

"Let's not talk about him," she implored tiredly. "I think we need to talk about what we are going to do. It's pretty clear that we are going to get a divorce. You asked me to think about what I want, and I have. I have to believe that this is all happening for a reason, and that I haven't made these decisions in vain. I want to be with you, Shawn, and not just because I can't be with Cory. I want to be with you because you're you."

Shawn looked into her eyes, wishing that he could believe her but knowing that he couldn't. Her heart wasn't completely there, but she was trying to get there. Reaching out, he brushed a free strand of hair from her face. "We'll get there," he promised her with a whisper.

"I'm trying," she whispered, reaching up to pull him down toward her. "I'm trying to let go, I promise. I'm trying."

"I know you are," he assured her soothingly, wrapping his arms around her quivering body. Her heart was wide open and his for the taking. "Do you want to come back to Philadelphia? Do you want to try to make it work with him?"

"It's not going to work. It's over," she professed confidently. "But moving back to New York now could be a good idea for you. If you want to make your friendship work with Cory, you are going to have to be closer to him than New York allows. Maybe you are the one who needs to be back in Philly."

"I think it might be time to come home. Philadelphia is home."

Nodding, she looked thoughtful for a moment, her chin tucked behind her open palm. "Then, we'll come home. I can put in for a transfer or find a different job. You're a writer; you can do that anywhere. We'll find a way to make this work if that's what you want."

"What do you want?"

"I want to be with you. You're my family now."

Kissing the top of her head absently, he smiled against her hair. "I was always your family. It just used to include a lot more people."

"I think it still does. I have to trust that if I needed them, Cory and the Matthews would still be there for us," she told him. "The only thing left to do is tell Jack."

"I hadn't even thought about Jack. I suppose he won't really care. He has Rachel now, and they're happy together. Besides, if tonight is any indication, he has clearly chosen a side."

"You know that's not true. He just wanted to spend time with his friends, and that includes Cory and Angela. Eric is his best friend, so it's inevitable that this would happen eventually. I'm guessing that Eric will end up spending some time with you at some point."

Shawn shook his head strongly. "No way," he countered. "Eric is as loyal as they come when it comes to Cor these days. There is no way he would ever hang out with either of us right now. He's just as hurt as Cory is. The entire family is."

"Well, we're just going to have to win them back, one Matthews at a time."

Angela sat next to Cory, both of them silent since Shawn's departure. She had heard them talking outside the window, their voices thick with years of friendship lost. A part of her felt responsible, as if she was the one keeping them apart. However, she knew that blame fell squarely on the shoulders of a former Ms. Lawrence. Topanga had been the one who had brought the situation upon the group, but she was the one who had to deal with the fallout. "I think we should have dinner with them," she said aloud, her voice soft but sure. "It's time that we really look at how we're going to move forward. I don't feel like you can do that without really sitting down with them."

"I'm not going to leave you, Ang," he promised, knowing that this conversation wasn't about anything but them. "You are apart of my future. In fact, from where I stand, you're the biggest part of my future. This has all moved so fast, but I know what's right for me. You're what's right for me."

"You just expect me to move back here from New York?"

"What's left for you there?"

"My apartment, my job, my life," she listed. "I can't just leave it all behind for a relationship that might or might not work. You're still married. Leaving New York for you would mean putting everything on the line. Can you promise me that it would be worth it?"

"I can't promise you anything," he answered, "you know that. I can only tell you what I want, and what I want is to try things with us. Even now, listening to myself, I know how selfish it seems. I know that it's beyond my usual demeanor; I know that I don't even make sense. I'm just trying to figure this out."

She hated the pain in his eyes as he looked distantly out the window. She knew that his words were heartfelt, and there was nothing in the world she wanted more to make it go away. She was afraid to trust in him after what had happened with Shawn. In the same breath, she knew that he was nothing like his best friend. "Do I have to decide right now?"

"Of course not," he told her. "You can take all the time in the world that you need. There isn't anything that has to be decided right now. I can crawl back on the floor, we can sleep and in the morning, we can act like nothing has changed. We can keep doing that until you know what you want. I've made it clear what I want. I think it's only fair that I give you the same chance to figure it out for yourself."

He started to climb off the bed, but she reached out and grabbed his wrist. "We don't have to be apart for me to figure out that I want us to be together," she remarked, sending chills down his spine. "I've made my first decision, and that is that I want you to sleep next to me and hold me in your arms. We'll figure out the rest in the morning."

"As long as we have tonight, I don't really care what comes next."


	13. Chapter 13

Angela cradled the grey cordless phone in her hands tightly, staring at the large oak tree that covered the majority of the Matthews' backyard. Her hair was pulled back in a loose chignon, its casualness complimenting her grey cashmere wrap sweater and dark denim jeans. It was going to be hard to be friends with Shawn and Topanga again, if they could even get there, but it would be even harder to simply walk away. Dialing a number from memory, she waited until she heard a voice pick up on the other end of the line.

"Topanga," she greeted her timidly. "We need to talk."

Topanga was surprised that Angela was calling her. They had only spoken twice since the incident, and neither time ended on friendly terms. "Okay," she drawled cautiously. "What's up?"

She shifted the phone from one shoulder to the other, tucking it carefully under her chin. "This fight isn't about you and me, so as far as I'm concerned, we need to take ourselves out of this situation," Angela began. "We haven't been friends for a long time, and I don't want to dwell on something that doesn't mean much to either of us."

Those words cut Topanga like a knife, taking away every bit of faith she had ever had in the bond she had once shared with her former best friend. "Right," she agreed reluctantly, "this is about Cory and Shawn. It's always been about them."

"You did this, not me," she reminded her coldly. "Cory is empty without Shawn, and it's killing both of us. For his sake, I'd like the four of us to get together for dinner. Nothing formal, just a quick bite at Chubby's or something."

"Us," Topanga repeated hollowly. "Right, um, well, I suppose that would be a good idea. If Cory is willing, I am sure Shawn would love to come. He has wanted to try to talk to Cory the entire time."

"Well, I'm sure that you both understand why he hasn't been able to talk to either of you yet," she replied stoically. "Look, Cory is back, so I have to go. Tomorrow night at Chubby's? Let's say seven." Without waiting for an answer, she hung up the phone and turned to find Cory standing in the doorway, watching her carefully. "It's all set."

"I still don't want to go, but you're probably right. I guess it's time that we both do this," he admitted, brushing his hands over his curly head absently. He sauntered over to the chair where she sat, wrapping his arms around her shoulders from behind. Kissing the crown of her head delicately, he smiled down at her as she peered up at him. "It was nice waking up with you in my arms."

"It was nice waking up in your arms," she echoed. "I feel like taking a long ride today. I was thinking that we could catch the train and head up to Boston. There is somewhere up there I'd like to take you if you'll come with me."

"Of course I will," he agreed. He knew where they were headed, not bothering to ask for an explanation. Silently, he threw a few things into a backpack just in case and waited for her to grab her purse. When both of them had collected their bearings, they headed down the back staircase to the kitchen hand-in-hand.

Alan and Amy were standing at the counter when they made it downstairs, sharing a soft kiss in a seemingly very private moment. Clearing his throat politely, Cory chuckled to himself as his mother blushed furiously. Even after nearly 30 years of marriage, the Matthews were still hot for each other. Glancing over at Angela, he hoped that he felt that way about someone three decades from now.

"We're going to head up to Boston for the day," he told them quickly. "We should be back late tonight, assuming that the trains run on schedule. If you need to reach me for any reason, I should have my phone on me."

"Sounds like fun, Cor," Alan said as he started to pour a cup of coffee. He was unaware of what waited for them in Boston. Amy, on the other hand, understood completely. She knew that their trip to the city was more than just a recreational jaunt; it was a kind of homecoming for Angela.

"Be safe," Amy told Angela warmly, hugging her for just a second too long. Dropping her voice to a whisper, she pulled back slightly and smiled at the young woman. "You're in my prayers."

"Thank you," she replied, nodding her head gratefully as Cory reached for her hand. His fingers entwined with hers, brining her body flush to his.

"Do you need a ride?" his father asked.

Cory shook his head in response. "Eric is going to drive us to the train station," he explained. "We'll see you tonight. I'd actually like to take you all out to dinner to thank you for your hospitality. And I have some exciting news to share with you."

Just then, Eric honked from the driveway, drawing the pair toward the car with a mere wave over their shoulder. Within a half-hour, they had been deposited at the train terminal, two tickets in hand as they waited for the 11 a.m. train to Boston. Angela leaned against Cory as people wandered by. She saw a married couple with their two children, clearly dressed for a day of sailing in the harbor. "That's what I want," she murmured to him, nodding her head toward the family.

"You want to go sailing?"

"I want a family," she said nostalgically. "I've been missing something for so long, and I think that's it. I've tried to fill this empty spot in my heart so many times – with work, with friends, with Shawn. But I never could find the right piece to complete the puzzle."

"Do you think I might have been what's missing?"

She was silent as she turned her head, staring blankly at the cold steel tracks lining the ground below. "No," she murmured softly, shaking her head. "I think I was what was missing. I'm the only one who can complete me. I'm starting to figure that out. I think you might be what's going to make my life better."

Grabbing her wrist, he turned her around and slipped one arm around her waist. Lifting her chin with the other, he grazed his tongue over her lips. "You've already made my life better," he proclaimed, letting his fingers trail down her spine.

The announcer broke the moment, instructing them to board their train. Grasping her hand softly, he pulled her toward the train and led her toward her seat. She sat down next to him, resting her head gently on his shoulder. "I'm scared to go back, Cor," she confessed. "I haven't been to my dad's grave since the day of the funeral. I kept meaning to go back, but I was never quite ready. I wanted to wait until I had some really great news, something I knew would make him happy."

"It doesn't matter what you say there, Ang," he told her. "In fact, you don't have to say anything at all. Visiting his grave is about your need to connect to him. I think that you don't even have to go there to do that. To me, it's like a prayer. You can just close your eyes and talk to him whenever you need him. We didn't have to go to Boston for you to find him."

"I wanted you to see this place," she explained. "Shawn once told me that to know my father was to truly know me. He was a big reason for why I am who I am today. My entire life – all my memories – was wrapped up in him."

Ruffling her hair affectionately, he adjusted himself in the seat. "Well, we're going to give you a whole set of memories that are wrapped up in yourself. You can include the people you want, but your life is going to be about you now, Angela. You're finally in a place where it's okay to only worry about yourself."

Looking at him, she shook her head. "There's no way my life could ever be just about me with you in it. I want you to know how much you mean to me. This isn't just some fleeting thing."

"That's good to know," he said, "because I plan on keeping you around for awhile. It looks like it could rain."

She gazed out the window, noting the dark clouds. "It doesn't look like we are going to be able to visit the cemetery if it doesn't clear up. I'd hate to come all this way for nothing."

"We can stay overnight. I'm sure it won't be too hard to find a hotel room. We can stop into a store and pick up a few things."

"It might be nice to go to a city where history can't haunt either of us," she acknowledged. "Speaking of which, I need to talk to you about Shawn and Topanga."

"Is it okay that hearing their names together still kills me?"

"It still hurts to say it," she retorted. "I talked to her this morning to set up a dinner meeting tomorrow. They're both going to come. If you want to make it just the two of you, I can make sure that she and I disappear."

He shook his head. "They need to get used to seeing us together just as much as we need to get used to seeing them together," he said. "I wish that I could pick which of them to let back in my life, but I can't. They're a pair now, and I have to accept that. I don't understand why it is so easy for me to want to forgive him but not her."

"Because it's Shawn," she replied. "You'd expect something like this from him but never from her. You trusted in your love above all else, even more than your friendship with Shawn."

"I don't want to talk about that now," he brushed her off. "Just tell me what you need to tell me so that we can focus on you for the rest of the day."

"We're having dinner with them tomorrow. I know that you are only doing this for me, but I really think that this is for the best," she proclaimed. "I just want you to try to keep an open mind about it."

"This isn't for you," he said vaguely. "This is for Shawn and me. This is for the past 25 years and everything that we have ever meant to each other."

Back in Philadelphia, Shawn had left Topanga alone in their hotel room to take a long walk. He needed to clear his mind on his own terms, to work everything out without her voice inside his head. Topanga wanted to fix everything for him, but she couldn't. This was about Shawn and Cory, even though it involved both the women in his life.

After she had told him about the dinner, his first reaction had been to lash out at her. However, he had managed to keep his mouth shut, making up some excuse about needing to pick up a newspaper. The truth was he just wanted to get away before he made it worse. He was afraid that Cory wouldn't want to come or that they would only argue more. He just wanted his best friend back, and right now, he wasn't sure that was possible.

Looking up, he suddenly realized where he was. He was in the exact place where had become friends with Cory all those years ago. It had been as simple as helping Cory up after he had fallen. A seemingly meaningless gesture had brought on the most important person he would ever know. More than any girl, more than his brother, even more than his father, Cory had been the only person Shawn had counted on. Staring blankly at the pit, he wasn't sure he would get his best friend back during the dinner, but he knew he had to try.


	14. Chapter 14

"Thanks," Cory told the street vendor, exchanging a crisp ten dollar bill for a small bouquet of mixed spring flowers. The man smiled at him amicably as Cory told him to keep the change, a kind gesture in what was turning out to be a trying day for them both. Turning around slowly, he watched Angela staring out across the waterfront, her eyes unattached from anything going on around her. They were on their way to the cemetery for a visit many months too late.

Strolling over to the rail where she was poised, Cory laid his hand gently on the small of her back. She turned toward him and managed a half smile, trying to muster a bit of bravery for the man who had traveled so far to help her get through this. He cupped her chin in her palm tenderly, nodding slightly to indicate that he understood. "I'm trying," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the constant roar of the bay. She glanced at the flowers in his clenched hand. "Tulips were always my dad's favorite."

He offered the bouquet to her before grabbing her free hand, pulling her slowly toward the street to start walking to the cemetery. "Tell me about the best day you ever shared with your dad," he prodded. "I never really knew him, other than his few visits to Philadelphia. The only thing I know for sure is that he raised a pretty amazing daughter. There had to be something to him to produce someone as wonderful as you."

"There are a lot of things I remember about my dad," she explained. "I think it's like any great love. There are all these tiny little moments that made him the man I loved more than anything in this world. He wasn't just my father, he was my best friend. He was the only constant in my life and until the past week, the only person I ever thought I could really trust completely."

"I do remember this one time when I was little, maybe five or six," she remembered. "It was an early spring day, a lot like today actually. We went to visit my grandmother, and I had been looking forward to it for months because I knew it would be one of the rare times we got away from the base. When he was out of uniform, the military part of my father almost faded away, and he was just my daddy. On that particular day, my dad stopped at this little store a few miles outside her farm. I begged and begged for a treat, but he refused. Little did I know, when we got to her house, he had bought me something. That was the day I got my first kite. We flew it for hours. That's one of my earliest memories."

Cory dropped her hand and slung it around her waist, drawing her slim frame closer to his body. She shivered under his touch, clearly lost in memories of ghosts past. "We flew kits a lot when we were in Europe. For my last birthday, Dad got me this really great kite he had custom made for me at a little shop. We spent an entire afternoon flying it at this little pocket park near the Eiffel Tower in Paris. It got broken on the plane home. I cried for three days."

Stopping on the corner, he turned her around in his arms and just held her. People milled past them, clicking their tongues in disapproval at the sudden display of affection. Tilting her chin slightly, he captured her mouth in a sweet caress, trying frantically to fill an empty void he knew consumed her body. "When we get back to Philly, we should talk Joshua to the park. He's never flown a kite. I think you should be the one to teach him."

She smiled at him from behind her wet eyes. "I'd like that," she agreed, kissing him briefly. Looking around, she noticed the landmarks around her. "We're getting close. I'm not sure I'm ready for this."

"You're ready," he assured her, once again guiding her down the street. "I wouldn't have brought you here if I didn't think that you were. This is something that you need to do, Ang, it's time. Even more than that, I think you were right. This is something that we need to do together. I never thought I would feel like this, but I want to be with you more than anything in the world. My entire life, Topanga defined that exact sentiment. But as sure as I stand here with you right now, I want you to be that woman for me."

"I am that girl," she proclaimed as they stepped off the curb in unison, hurrying across the street. "How can I be so sure of that? I've never been sure of anything in my life, running anytime anything became too real. But with you, I feel like it's okay for me to finally stop and stand still. After a lifetime of traveling the world, you don't know what that's like."

Without noticing, they had found themselves outside the gate. Cory sensed that she wasn't quite ready to go in yet, and there was something he still needed to say. "After a lifetime of living in one place, you don't know what it's like to find someone who can take you to places you never were," he retorted. Brushing away a wisp of black hair, he pressed a kiss on her cheek. "Speaking of which, I think that we're ready for this."

Pushing the gate open, Cory and Angela started down the shaded path and past the numerous rows of graves. He was taken aback at the sheer number of tombstones, having never really been around death except for Shawn's father, Chet. "Do you know where it is?" he asked her.

She nodded and pointed a few rows ahead of them. "By the tree," she answered bluntly, dropping his hand as she sprinted a few yards ahead of him. Her sudden movement caused him to freeze. Standing on the sidewalk, he watched as she jogged until she reached the grave, a solid black slab of granite. Falling to her knees, she wrapped her arms around the stone, rocking back and forth on her heels as she fell apart in front of his eyes. After a few moments, she pulled back and sat the small bouquet at the foot of the grave.

"I'm sorry I haven't been by to visit sooner, Daddy," she mumbled softly. "I know that you would understand, knowing that I have been working and everything. All my life, you always wanted me to succeed, and I guess that I finally have. I've been writing so much lately, traveling everywhere that I have ever dreamed. Recently, however, I chose to take a steady job in New York. I'm an editor now. Can you believe it?"

"You told me to go to New York before I died. You told me that my future was there," she remembered. "I thought that when you said that, you were talking about Shawn. I tried to make our relationship into something it wasn't. A part of me even still loved him, Daddy. I think that was the part of me that needed to find something to cling to. I just wanted to create a family for myself. I didn't think I had anyone else."

"And then, one night, I had a drink with an old friend, and I found out that I didn't even have Shawn," she went on. "I didn't think that life would get better after that. My first thought was to run away. Instead, I ended up hanging around, and I think I found the real reason you wanted me to go to New York. Daddy, I think I might have found that family I was talking about. I know it's still too early to say this for sure, but sometimes I think you just know. With Cory, so much of me just knows."

She looked at where the curly headed boy was still standing, silently watching over her from afar. He was quietly supporting her just as he had been every moment since he had told her about the affair. Waving her hand to bring him over, she was happy to see the wide grin spread across his face. "Hello, Mr. Moore," he greeted the grave cheerfully, slipping to the ground next to Angela. "I have to say, Angela picked a pretty perfect spot for you. I can't help but think that you would have loved it. It'd be a great place to fly kites."

"I came here with Angela to get to know a part of her that she has hidden from the rest of the world," Cory continued. "You see, I didn't expect it, but lately, I've found myself falling in love with your daughter. It's something completely new to both of us, and I think we're just trying to work our way through it. I know that you wanted her to go to New York, but I think it's time that she comes home. For the longest time, I think she felt like there wasn't anything anywhere for her. However, in Philadelphia, there is an entire life waiting for her. My family and me, we want Angela to be a part of our life. We want her to be a part of her family."

It was Cory who was crying this time, feeling at ease for the first time all day. He was emotionally purging, expressing all these thoughts that had been on his mind without having to tell her directly. He'd had a long talk with his father about the feelings he was having for Angela, something totally foreign to him. Other than the brief crush he'd had in high school, it had been yeas and years since he'd been attracted to anyone other than his wife. Still silent, Angela leaned forward and kissed the tears away.

"I'm ready to go," she whispered into his ear, anxious to get out of the cemetery. "I've gotten everything out of today that I needed. I feel like I've finally said goodbye to my old life, Cor. I'm ready to start a new life." Looking back at the grave one last time, she dusted a way a light coating of dust. Then, pressing a kiss to her fingers, she palmed the surface for a moment and closed her eyes. Dropping her voice to a whisper, she bid her father a final farewell. "Goodbye, Daddy," she whispered. "Thank you for sending me to New York. Thank you for sending me to him."

Without looking back, Angela pulled Cory toward the path and out of the cemetery. Neither of them said a word until they were safely beyond the gate. As Cory reached his hand out to hail a cab, Angela quickly pulled it back down without letting go. Threading his hands around her waist, she leaned into his body. "Thank you for coming with me today," she said. "I know now that I could have done this without you, but I don't think I would have wanted to."

"You put the past behind you back there," he pointed out. "It's time for the happiness to begin. Are you ready to let me all the way in?"

"Is she all the way out?"

The question echoed in his head, such a complex question with such a simple answer. Taking her hand in his, he placed it over his heart. "It's only you in there," he avowed. "Now, it's only you and me."

"This is moving so fast," she acknowledged, wanting to turn away but finding herself unable. "I keep thinking that we should slow down, but I don't want to. I actually trust in this."

"Part of the reason I agreed to the dinner, Angela, was so that we could tell them," Cory started to explain. We were both so hurt when we found out what Topanga and Shawn had done. Even if our relationships are over, I don't want to do the same thing to them. They deserve to know my intentions, and my intentions are to be with you."

She smiled widely, happiness radiating from her beautiful face. "Do we have to go back to Philly tonight?" she asked slyly.

Cory shook his head. "Of course not, whatever you want."

"I was thinking that we could get a hotel room. I have a VIP room at the Four Seasons that I've never used. I can't think of a better cause for celebration than this," she offered.

"I didn't bring any clothes," he protested.

"Trust me," she winked, "where we're going, clothing is completely unnecessary."

"Ang, I've never slept with anyone but her," he retorted nervously. "Not that I don't want to be with you. I guess I'm just a little nervous."

"As long as you keep looking at me like that, I'm pretty sure that you don't need to be worried."


	15. Chapter 15

"I can't believe I'm nervous to see my husband," Topanga muttered to her reflection in the mirror. Exasperated, she struggled to push a pearl earring through her lobe. She was in the hotel bathroom, trying to get ready for her dinner with Cory, Angela and Shawn. Every once in awhile, she would hear Shawn's voice from the other room where he was talking on the phone to Jack.

"What are you mumbling about?" he asked as he padded into the room, wrapping his arms around her from behind. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he caught her eye in the mirror and smiled widely.

"I'm nervous about tonight," she admitted. Leaning back against his body, she felt immediately at ease. "What do you think it's going to be like?"

"It's going to be awkward at first, but I think we'll eventually find our footing," he promised her. "And it doesn't really matter how bad it gets, I'm going to be beside you the entire night. I promise you, there isn't anything we can't do as long as we're on the same team."

Brushing the mascara wand over her light lashes, she couldn't help but smile at the touching sentiment. "Shawn Hunter, who ever thought you'd be a romantic?" she grinned. "Then again, who ever thought we'd be together? You're so much different than I expected, which is weird when you think about it. I mean, I have known you my entire life. But being with you, it's just not how I thought it would be."

"And what did you think I would be like?" he asked teasingly, kissing the tip of her nose as he pulled his green toothbrush from the porcelain holder. "I know that I had a reputation as a ladies' man and all, but I thought you could see pass that at least. Like you said, we've known each other forever."

"I never thought you would care about anyone as deeply as you care about me," she explained. "Every time I look at you, it still surprises me that you love me as much as you do. Even back then, a little part of me wondered what it would be like to kiss you – I mean, really kiss you. Now, every time we kiss, I can't wait until the next time. You helped me find this part of me that I never knew existed."

"I always thought that you were too smart to be with me," he said. "You're still the most brilliant person I've ever known, but I know now that I deserve someone as wonderful as you in my life. I don't think that anyone has ever made me feel like I was more on their level than you. Well, except for maybe Cory."

Cocking her head to the side, she bit her bottom lip. "It always comes back to them, doesn't it?" she grumbled. "We try not to let it, but it does…especially Cory."

"For the longest time, he was the thread that held us together."

"And now?"

"We are our own thread," he retorted. "I love you, and I am savoring every moment that we are together. I don't want to count on anyone else to keep us together. We need to be enough to keep ourselves together from this moment forward."

Glancing at down at her watch, her eyes grew wide. "It's time to go!" she realized aloud. Running past Shawn, she searched frantically for her other black stiletto beneath the bed. "Find the keys."

Dangling them off the end of his index finger, he grinned at her slyly. "Done."

Across town, in the cozy bedroom of a picturesque white Cape Cod house, Angela was giddy with happiness as Cory laid a trail of whispery kisses along her collarbone. "Cor, we're going to be late," she groaned with delight, "but I don't care. Are you sure you've only ever slept with one girl? You're pretty good at this."

"Well, I've kissed more than one girl before you," he reminded her. Angela took control, rolling him over and pinning his body beneath hers. Her dark hair fanned over his face, tickling his cheeks ever so slightly. "But I've never kissed a girl like I kiss you."

"Well, if that's a line, you sure know how to pick 'em, Matthews," she teased. "And if it's a distraction, you definitely have that down, too. We really need to get dressed. I think we're supposed to be there in like fifteen minutes."

He shrugged as he rolled them both on their sides, wrapping his arm around her bare midriff. Burying his face in her fragrant, thick mane, he pressed his lips against the sensitive hollow spot on the back of her neck. Its gentle curve seemed to be made especially for his kiss. "I could stay like this forever," he murmured. "I don't want to get out of this bed." Suddenly, he burst out into laughter.

"What is so funny?" she asked.

"You're the first girl I've ever had slept with in my parents' house," he told her. "I just thought of that. Topanga and I never had sex here the entire time we've been married. She was always too freaked out by the fact that they were down the hall or something."

"See, there was still a first left to be had. I'm glad that you still had something saved that could be just ours. I wasn't sure given all the history you have in this city that we would ever find that," she smiled. "And now that you have sufficiently tried to distract me, I have to tell you that it didn't work. We have to get up."

Cory grunted in frustration as he watched Angela leap from the bed. Without an ounce of pretension to her, she literally stepped into a pair of discarded jeans off the floor. Pulling a fresh white wife beater from Cory's suitcase, she yanked it over her head and shook her hair loose over her shoulders. As she turned around to search for a missing sandal, Cory admired her toned back. After jamming her manicured toes into the leather flip flops, she turned back to gaze at Cory. Hand on her hip, she grimaced. "Get up. I'm already ready."

"I love that you can take two minutes to get dressed and look more beautiful than those girls that take hours," he complimented her as he reluctantly crawled off the mattress. Taking the crisp white tee shirt from his girlfriend, he quickly dressed, adding faded jeans and shoes similar to Angela, who was now applying a quick layer of lip gloss in the single mirror above his old bureau. Sauntering across the floor, he looped his arm through hers and caught her eye in the mirror. She leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled. "Look at them," he whispered. "Just look at them."

Forty-five minutes later – 15 minutes past when they were supposed to be there – Cory and Angela strolled down the side staircase at Chubby's. With a Green Day song playing on the jukebox, they immediately felt like they were back in high school. However, as they spotted Shawn and Topanga sitting next to each other, huddle together over a menu, they realized that it wasn't 1998, and they were very different people.

"Hello," Angela told the two softly as she crawled into the booth before Cory. The curly headed brunette sat down next to her and reached for her hand beneath the table. "Sorry we're late. We overslept."

Shawn immediately thought was to tease them, well aware that the comment alluded to much more than simple sleep. Instead, he just told them that it was fine. Raising his hand to wave the waiter, he looked at Topanga expectantly. Turning back to his former best friend, he mustered a bit of confidence. "Thanks for coming, Cor," Shawn said. "I'm glad that we're going to have a chance to work this out."

"We've been friends for too long for me to just walk away," he admitted. "You're still my best friend, Shawnie, even if it's hard to be around you right now. I'm committed to trying though, and that's all I can really promise right now."

"What about me?"

Cory looked at his soon-to-be ex-wife. "I don't know."

"And what about you, Ang?" Shawn asked. "Are you going to be able to get past this?"

"I'm not here to forgive anyone. I'm here to support Cory," she answered. "I figure if he can try, I should be able to. He was the one hurt most here. We barely knew each other any more, Shawn, and Topanga and I hadn't been best friends for years. He lost his best friend and his wife."

"But I also gained a lot," Cory assured her but addressing the entire group. "That's not why we're here, though. We're here to just talk. I don't want it to be awkward, so I'm just going to start talking. Eventually, it will start to sound like rambling. Eventually, someone will have to cut me off."

"I never knew how much I missed being a brother until I got back here," Cory began. "I mean, I love New York, but I don't think there will never be a home for me other than Philly. Watching Joshua at his soccer game the other day, I fell in love with the kid all over again. He is just this little guy with a mess of blonde curls and a wry smile. He's this perfect combination of Eric, Morgan and me."

"You should see all three of the boys together," Angela went on. "They wrestle and heckle, just like little kids. I love watching them together. I admire their dynamic, especially after being an only child."

Topanga felt a twinge of jealousy, remembering a day not so long ago when it would have been her making that observation rather than the woman sitting across the table from her. "How does Morgan like college?" 

"Great," Cory retorted. "She really loves Pennbrook. I'm looking forward to being able to spend more time with her."

"And even if she won't admit it, I think Morgan's looking forward to it, too," Angela laughed.

"She is?" Cory asked skeptically.

"That's what she told me today at lunch," she replied.

"You had lunch with Morgan," Topanga repeated.

"Uh, yeah," Angela said distractedly. "Anyway, I guess we should order. What sounds good, Cor? I'm not that hungry, we could just share."

"What about a Clown burger and fries?"

"Sounds perfect," she chirped, reaching absently for his soda after having finished hers. The simple gesture didn't go unnoticed by a seemingly envious blonde poised next to Shawn.

"Excuse me," Topanga nearly barked, jumping to her feet and hurrying toward the ladies' room. Leaving three confused people in her wake, she didn't seem to care about anything other than disappearing.

"What was that about?" Cory asked confusedly.

"She's mad," Angela said instantly. "She thinks someone has taken her place, and Ms. Lawrence doesn't like that."

"Mrs. Matthews," Shawn corrected her coldly as he followed his girlfriend to the bathroom. Peering around the corner, he was happy to see it mostly vacant, save for one stall. "Topanga, it's me."

"Go away."

"It's okay," he murmured soothingly, leaning casually against the cool metal door. "Please, come out. I'm not angry."

"Why aren't you? You should be. I got jealous," she shouted. "And they weren't even trying to make me upset. They're just naturally that way together. I think that's what hurt the most."

"Look at me," he ordered. She obeyed, looking intently into his eyes. "You're fine. We're fine. Besides, they looked at us the same way."

"No, they didn't," she protested.

"Yes, they did," he avowed clearly. "You just weren't looking."

"Well, I'm looking now."


	16. Chapter 16

Later that night, after dropping Topanga off at the hotel, Shawn found himself on another one of his long walks. The moon was full and pale, lending a fair glow over the silver streets of Philadelphia. Pulling his black knit hoodie closer to him, he allowed the cool spring breeze to wash over him. As he turned down the street he'd spent more time on than his own growing up, he noted how it still looked the same. Picking up a pebble, he tossed it up at the window, hitting the glass surface with a perfect shot. Counting to three in his head, he laughed as Cory's surprised face appeared. Waving his hand, he gestured for his friend to come down before heading for the garage. Pulling the old basketball from its customary spot in the old mop bucket, he waited patiently for Cory in the driveway.

Without a word, the two men fell into a familiar pattern of a basketball, its score never predetermined. The game would just go on until one or both were tired of chasing the other around the makeshift court. Usually, Cory would give up, leaving Shawn sitting balanced on the ball on the cement. He'd disappear into the kitchen, only to return with two cans of root beer. Then, they'd talk until the sun fell below the horizon, only to chase after the girls to some restaurant or a movie. It had been a way of life for them throughout high school, and looking back, Shawn hoped that they weren't the best days of their life yet.

After a few minutes of playing horse, Cory broke the palpable silence. "Why are you here, Shawn?" he asked quietly. "I figured after the scene with Topanga, you'd be done trying for awhile. It was pretty clear what was going on when you both left the restaurant without another word."

Trailing his fingers through his longish dark hair, Shawn shrugged as he turned away and through the ball up toward the hoop. "Because that back there was about them," he explained. "This game, it's always been about us. I love Topanga, Cor. I'm not going to pretend that I don't. But you are still my best friend, no matter what else has happened. I saw the way you looked at Angela tonight, your heart is somewhere else. I just want to know if there is even a small chance that you are going to be able to let go of the past and forgive us."

"I don't know if I can forgive her."

"We're a matched set now," Shawn retorted. "You once told your father that the moment you chose to love Topanga, she became the most important person in the world. I never really understood what that meant until now. You can't just have one of us in your life, at least not for the long haul. I understand if you can't forgive us both right away, but eventually, if we want to stay friends, you're going to have to learn to."

"You know, it's funny," Cory scoffed. "I genuinely didn't do anything wrong here, but it seems like I'm the one doing all the compromising. I shouldn't have to do anything, Shawn. You should be the one having to make all the changes, but just like always, I have to pay for your mistakes. I'm really tired of it."

"We both know that I'm the screw up, but it isn't just about us anymore," he replied. "This involves two women that we both love. I don't deserve either one of them, but I'm lucky enough to have had both of them care about me. You deserve both of them, and you've gotten that, too. Look, I don't know what my life would be like without you, Cor – I'd probably still be living in the trailer park, going nowhere fast. But I'm not there, I'm here. I plan on taking advantage of the chance I've been given with Topanga. I suggest you do the same with Angela."

"I love Angela," Cory whispered, his voice lost in the spring night. "I don't know how it happened or when even, but I can't deny that I've fallen for her. Going with her to Boston, I saw an entirely different side of her. I felt like she had saved all these things up just to share with me."

"She never took me to Boston. What's there?"

"You mean, you don't know?"

He shook his head. "I knew that there was something that would call her up there from time to time, but she always made an excuse about work. I tried to make plans to go up there with her a few times, but she'd never let me."

"Her parents," he answered. "They're buried there. We spent the day up there, and I don't know that I have ever seen her that open or that vulnerable."

"Cory?" Both men turned and looked toward the window, surprised to see Angela's dark face casting a shadow over the driveway. "What are you two doing?"

"Talking about you," Cory replied honestly. "I'll be up in a few minutes. Go back to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us."

"Actually, why don't you come up here?"

"Angela!" he called.

"Not for that, Cory," she demanded dismissively. "I'd like to ask Shawn something in private. I have a few things I need to say so that we can finally put this all behind us. You two are going to get your chance, and I assume that you'll get one with Topanga. He and I deserve the same opportunity."

"Fine, fine," he grumbled, tossing the ball back to Shawn. "What is it with the women in my life? They all seem to tell me what to do."

"Get over it," Angela commented as she came up behind them, kissing Cory on the cheek. "You just go on up. I'll be in a few minutes."

"Yes, dear."

Shawn laughed as Cory disappeared into the darkened house. Turning to his former girlfriend, he felt his stomach twist into a familiar ball of nerves. "Well, what do you have for me?"

Angela sauntered to the swing, patting the seat next to her as she sat down. "I really only have one question left for you, Shawn. It's the one thing still weighing on my mind, and I almost hate myself for even needing to ask it."

"We used to be able to talk about anything."

"Used to," she repeated. "Anyhow, the past doesn't really matter anymore, does it? It doesn't seem to be much of a factor into either of ours current situation. The only question I have left for you is to ask if you ever actually intended to go through with the marriage."

The unexpected silence was deafening. Angela had thought that he would react immediately, desperate to reassure her that he had actually loved her once upon a time. However, his lack of words said more than anything he could have actually ever spoken. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to them both, he looked down at his feet and shook his head sadly. "No."

"Damn you," she breathed, her voice a hair above a whisper. "Damn you."

"I'm sorry."

"I regret ever letting you in. Even just a little bit."

"Angela, I'm sorry," he echoed.

"It's my fault. I knew better. That day you showed up at the airport, I knew better," she rattled on. "And when you got down on your knee in Central Park, part of me knew to say no. I knew that we would never get married. I knew that you didn't love me."

"Then why did you say yes?"

"Why did you ask?"

"Fair enough," he acknowledged. "I wanted to love you. I wanted to have the life that Cory had with Topanga. I thought that I could convince myself to make it work. We had something pretty great once, and I guess a part of me thought we could find it again. I thought I could believe enough for both of us."

"And that's why I said yes. I know we've talked about this before, but I was never fully honest with myself. I didn't want to own up to my part in it. I thought I could love you enough for the both of us and…"

"And?"

"And I thought you could fill the part of me that was missing something."

"You have to be enough for yourself."

"I was," she sighed. "I am. I just wanted someone to share my life with. If I had to go through all this to finally find that person, then I guess it was actually worth it. Maybe I should thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I said maybe, Shawn," she retorted pointedly. "Maybe."

Upstairs, Cory reached for the phone that had long say on his bedside table. Dialing his wife's number from memory, he waited until her sleep voice came on the other end of the line. "He's downstairs with her."

"I know."

"I don't want to be angry at you anymore."

"I don't want you to hate me."

"I don't," he promised. "I mean, I could never."

"How are we going to do this? How am I going to live my life without you? I'm not sure that I can be Topanga without Cory."

"I will always be a part of your life. It won't ever be the same way, but I will always be there. Even if I'm hurt and angry right now, you can count on that."

"I know that, too."

"We should probably meet with a lawyer soon. There are a lot of things to go through, the apartment and whatnot. I want you to know, I'm not going to fight you for anything. We can split everything evenly. If you want to keep the apartment, you can. I'm not going to need it."

"I don't know that I am either."

"Oh, of course. You're moving in with Shawn."

"Hardly," she laughed. "We're not ready for that. I just meant that I might not stay in New York either. I got another job offer."

"You're moving?"

"Sort of. I might actually come back to Philly. Shawn and I are still talking it over. I don't want it to seem like we're following you, but I also don't want to try to repair this with hundreds of miles between us. You are our best friend, Cor. We still need you, too."

Just then, Angela appeared in the doorway, her lanky body posed against the frame. "I need you, too," he replied, his eyes locked on Angela's. Hanging up the phone, he waited for her to cross the room and crawl across the mattress toward him. "Did you get the answer you wanted?"

She shook her head. "But I got the one I needed."


	17. Chapter 17

The next week, Cory and Topanga came from different sides of Philadelphia to meet in a mutually chosen attorney's office. Her hair was pulled up into a classic chignon, complimenting her crisp, professional black suit. A satin pink shirt tucked beneath, she was coming from a court hearing of her own. Cory, on the other hand, was dressed casually in a Phillies jersey and faded jeans, his curly hair barely visible beneath a tattered red cap. They were the epitome of opposites but their reason for being there was very much the same.

"Next, we should discuss the separation of assets," the lawyer explained, handing copies of a long list to both of them. Cory scanned the paper, surprised to see all the things the two had acquired during their marriage. From small things like CDs and luggage to big ticket items like their car and the apartment, it was all there in black and white. "Who is going to take the apartment?"

"We've agreed to sell it and split the proceeds," Topanga answered. "If Cory doesn't object, I would like to take the car. I will give him a portion of my half to compensate him. Other than that, I think we should just split everything down the middle."

"Mr. Matthews, do you agree?"

"Whatever, it doesn't matter," he remarked. It honestly didn't matter to him. He just wanted this to be over with. There was nothing more depressing than dividing things he didn't really care about. He only wanted a few things, mostly items that had belonged to him long before they had been married. "Topanga can pretty much have whatever she wants. I don't want to fight over anything."

"Cory, I want to be fair about this," she told him. "If there is something you want, you need to speak up now. I don't want you to do this just to be nice."

"I know that you will be," he retorted. "Splitting everything down the middle is fair. She can have the car. I will take the money to buy myself a new car. I'd like to put a portion of it in a trust in case something is to happen to me. If something does, I want Topanga to have whatever I'm taking away from our marriage. No matter what else happens, these past few years have been ours. She deserves to have it."

Clearly touched at what he said, Topanga reached across the table for his hand. "You don't have to do that. What if you get remarried?"

"Even if I do, this is still ours. I don't want to share this part of my life with anyone else. No one would ever understand it like we do," he smiled. Sometimes he hated being so kind, so sentimental. "Besides, I make good money. We both do. We'll be fine either way. I just want to make sure that you are always taken care of, even if it's not by me directly."

Glancing over at the man she had known for more than 20 years, she caught a glimpse of the boy she had fallen in love with as a toddler in the sandbox, the sixth grader whose face she had drawn on with lipstick, the teenager she'd danced with in a boxing ring, the high school student she proposed to on graduation day and the young man she had married at 19. Gone was the jealous teacher who couldn't stand the sight of her, the new boyfriend of her best friend from high school and the betrayed husband who only wanted to yell at her.

"Well, it looks like everything is in order," the lawyer said after looking over the documents again. "I will draw up formal divorce papers this week and have them sent to both of you as soon as possible. For now, here are is the document that declares you as legally separated. All I need is your signatures on the line."

Topanga reached down for her leather satchel and pulled out a sterling silver Montblanc pen. Twisting it absently, she gazed down at the paper apprehensively. Everything had suddenly become all too real. Pressing it lightly against the paper, she scrawled a careful signature on the bold black line. After looking at her name for a few moments, she handed the papers reluctantly to Cory.

Clutching the papers in his hand, Cory felt a wave of nausea wash over him. Pulling a simple black Bic pen from his canvas messenger bag, lost amidst the chaos of papers to be graded and poetry books Angela had picked out for him to read, Cory flipped the black cap off hollowly. Reading over the legal jargon, his eyes quickly went bleary. Dropping the pen to the table, he tossed the papers in front of him. Pushing back his chair, he stood up wordlessly and headed for the door. Just before slipping out, he turned and looked back at Topanga. "I'm sorry. I can't sign them." He left just in time to miss seeing her jaw drop.

Getting into the car he had borrowed from his parents, Cory sat quietly in the driver's seat for a few minutes. Eventually, he managed to jam the key in the ignition and turn over the motor, bringing the engine to life. Sardonic pop music poured from the stereo. Turning the dial to his favorite alternative station, he reveled in the angst-ridden rock. Nothing fit his emotions better than the moody ballad released a decade earlier. Putting the old SUV into reverse, he just started to drive.

Twenty minutes later, Cory found himself pulling up in front of Chubby's. Happy to find the only parking spot left in the lot, he quickly left his car to seek solace in the confines of his favorite adolescent hangout. Kids littered around the basement café, laughing over the likes of cheap pizza, cheese fries and pop. As he slid into the booth that had been "his" in high school, he suddenly felt so old.

"What can I get you, sir?" a bubbly blonde waitress asked him, smacking her hot pink bubble gum in time with the techno dance song.

_She called me sir_, he thought, her voice echoing over and over again in his head. Shaking his head to clear it of such depressing thoughts, he ordered a clown burger and root beer. When she disappeared toward the kitchen, he retreated toward the jukebox. Running his finger down the glass, he perused the play list in search of an old favorite. There it was, still inhabiting the same slot it had ten years before. Punching in A6, he made it back to his seat in time to hear REM pay homage to old memories of swimming with friends.

"I knew I would find you here, in this booth, listening to this song," her voice said as she sat down opposite him. He didn't look up; instead, he leaned his head back against the booth and closed his eyes. The soothing piano melody was his only focus. "It's been years since I've heard it."

"We used to listen to it every time we came here. It was our ritual. You'd come in, fish a quarter from my pocket and play it. Sometimes, we'd even dance to it. I've wanted to hear it for awhile, but I was too afraid to let myself play it."

"Why?"

"I guess I didn't want to remember how happy we were once," he answered honestly. "I believed in us so much. It's a hard thing to have your faith basically taken away. I just want to hold onto everything I have right now. The changes are still coming too fast."

"You don't have to sign the papers if you're not ready, Cor, but you can't keep holding on just because you're scared," Topanga told him. "If you really love me and want to try to work this out, that's one thing. If it's just because you want to hold onto me, then we both deserve more. You have to decide what you want."

"I thought I was ready," he muttered, dropping his head into his hands. "I didn't think that it would be that hard."

"I know," she murmured, once again reaching across the table for his hand. Rubbing her thumb over his knuckles, she prayed that he could feel their shared pain. When he dropped her hand, she was afraid he couldn't. However, as he moved to sit next to her, her fears were immediately put at ease. Weaving his arm around her waist, he pulled her flush against his body until their breaths fell into one constant inhale/exhale pattern. "It's really over, isn't it?"

"I kind of think it has to be," he admitted. "I'm still not sure that I want it to be, but I think it already is. And I'm really sad about that."

"Me too," she commiserated, laying her head on his shoulder.

"You will always be the love of this lifetime, Topanga," he promised.

"I hope you will find someone worth of having that same title in the next one," she whispered as they turned toward each other. Tilting her chin up, Cory dipped his head to capture her pert lips in a gentle caress. It was soft, tender, perfect. As they pulled apart, she lunged ahead slightly to lay a series of affectionate pecks on his mouth. Pressing her forehead to his, she wanted to tell him everything that she was feeling. Instead, she simply said, "I love you."

He nodded, causing their noses and chins to bump awkwardly. Cory knew that Topanga did love him, and a part of her always would. "I love you," he promised, and a part of him always would.

"What the hell is going on here?" Shawn barked unexpectedly, pulling both of them out of their comfortable reverie. His eyes were filled with anger and pain as he looked from Topanga to Cory. "If you were going to get back together with him, you could have at least told me."

"Shawn, it's not like that," she insisted. "Cory and I were just talking."

"Talking?" Shawn spat sarcastically. "It looked more like you were kissing and declaring your love for each other. I thought we were really going to do this, Topanga. I can't believe you did this to me."

"Pretty awful, isn't it?" Cory asked numbly. "You can relax. Topanga wasn't cheating on you. We just got back from the attorney's office, and I had a hard time there. She came to make sure that I was okay. We were saying goodbye."

"When I told Angela goodbye, I didn't have my tongue down her throat," he uttered sharply. "I certainly didn't tell her that I loved her."

"That's because you didn't," Cory pointed out. "Topanga and I are married. Whether you like it or not, there is still some good stuff there. I can't just walk away from this like it never happened. As much as I would love to be as nonchalant as you…actually, no, I wouldn't. I'm glad that I can't just breeze through breaking up with the woman I expected to spend the rest of my life with. She is my wife, and that still matters to me."

"Well, I will just leave you with your wife then."

"No, you won't," Cory countered, moving out of the booth. "I am going to go back to the lawyer's office so that I can sign papers to formally separate from her. And then, I am going to go home to Angela. I will always love Topanga, but it's time to move on. I understand that now."

"Cory…" Shawn drawled.

"You've said enough, Shawn," Cory said sadly. "You've done enough." Peering over at Topanga, he nodded toward the staircase. "Walk me out."

She followed him to the steps, careful to keep one eye on Shawn. "I'm sorry," she apologized when they were alone again. "He kind of ruined the moment."

"He couldn't possibly," Cory smiled reassuringly. Hugging her quickly, he patted her hand as he stood on the bottom step. "Go to him, Topanga. He's the only man I know that could even start to be good enough for you. Go."


	18. Chapter 18

After Cory left, Topanga slowly dragged herself back to their room. He was sitting on the edge of an armchair in the suite when she came in, his body hunched over. She could read his every emotion in his back, each muscle more tense than the next. Part of her wanted to turn around and chase after Cory, a gut reaction to the past two decades of her life. However, the biggest part of her – the part of her that could hear his nearly inaudible sobs – knew that she needed to stay. For once, all of her knew that this is where she belonged.

"Shawn," she whispered, snaking her hand through the web of fingers he had created in front his face. Pulling them away finger by finger, she was surprised to see his eyes swollen from tears. "Come with me." Taking his hand, she led him over to the bed. Pulling his arms above his head, she slowly stripped him down to his undershirt and boxers. Yanking back the covers, she told him to get in. He kept his eyes glued on her as she undressed slowly, exchanging her suit for an oversized white t-shirt. Topanga had never felt as sexy as she did under Shawn's gaze. Slipping behind him beneath the comforter, she wrapped her arms around his chiseled torso and rested her chin against his shoulder.

"There is nothing standing between us now," he murmured. For the duration of their relationship, Shawn had been able to keep actual commitment at arm's length because he knew that she was still married to Cory. What had been their greatest hindrance was also their greatest strength because he had never thought they would actually get their chance to be together. Now that all barriers were gone, a part of him was afraid that their relationship couldn't stand the test of time. Shawn Hunter, the cad who'd only committed to one woman in his life, was on the verge of something big. "Are you ready to do this for real?"

"You're half the reason we decided to get this divorce, Shawn," Topanga replied. "Cory wanted to hold onto our marriage because it represented all the things we had had. But when we really thought about it, we knew we were gripping at straws. Our marriage has been over for a long time, and even if I could get it back, I wouldn't want to. I'm in love with someone else now."

A coy smile played across his lips. Turning over, he brought her closer to him, his hands making their way around her slender waist. "Anyone I know?" he teased, running his tongue across her bottom lip playfully. Trailing kisses down the hollow spot of her collarbone, he savored the sweet taste of her dewy skin. Moaning beneath his touch, she arched her back. Just as they were about to move further, Shawn stopped. "I don't want to do this. Not tonight."

"Um, okay," she uttered, clearly confused.

"Can we just talk all night?" he asked.

Sitting up, Topanga pulled an elastic band from her wrist and twisted her long hair into a messy bun. Leaning forward anxiously on her knees, she grinned. "There is nothing else I would rather do," she said. "And I want to start with whatever thoughts are keeping you from giving all of yourself to me."

"It's a scary thing to have everything you have ever wanted given to you all at once," he explained. "I keep thinking that it should be harder than this, though I don't know what could be more difficult than this. I guess the kid from the trailer park will always think that he's not good enough for me."

"That couldn't be further from the truth," she proclaimed confidently. "You know what Cory told me just before he left? He told me to go to you. He told me that you were the only man that could ever be good enough for me. Cory recognizes how amazing you are, and I obviously fell in love with you because of it."

"He really said that?" Shawn asked, aghast. His best friend still believed in him, despite how things had turned out. Years ago, they had promised that they would always look out for each other. 'Cory and Shawn forever,' they had also attested. Years later, they were still making good on that vow. "If he believes it, maybe I should believe it, too."

"That's what I've been telling you," she giggled. "Shawn, I want you to believe that you deserve good things. It shouldn't take Cory or me to make you see that you are worth loving. I know you are going through a lot of things right now. This is a pretty big change for both of us. It's hard on me, too. But you know the one thing that makes it a little bit easier?"

"What's that?" he asked, cupping her cheek in his palm affectionately.

"You loving me," she whispered. "Thank you for loving me when I didn't think anyone would ever love me again. You made me fall in love all over again, not only with you but also myself. I feel sexy and wanted beneath your touch, beautiful and special beneath your gaze, funny and interesting beneath your laugh. That's a pretty amazing gift to give someone else."

"T, there's something I want to ask you. I know that there are going to be a lot of details to work out and that things between you and Cor aren't official yet," he remarked, "but I would really like it if you would live with me here in Philadelphia. I want us to find a home and really start our lives. What do you say?"

"I say yes."

"Just like that?"

"That's life as we know it."

Parking the car in the driveway, Cory couldn't wait to get upstairs to see Angela. Today had been a significant day in the transition of his life, and he couldn't wait to tell her everything. Grasping the paper shopping bag between his fingers, he raced past his parents and jogged up the staircase. He was happy to find her in his bedroom sitting in the middle of a pile of white clothes, humming to herself as she happily folded their laundry. Dropping to his knees in front of her, he grinned as she paired socks.

"Your laundry is my new favorite thing to do. How sick is that?" she joked, throwing the balled socks at him. Leaning over, she brushed a kiss over his cheek before returning to a stack of t-shirts. "How was your day?"

"Pretty great actually," he replied. "Do you think we could finish the laundry in awhile? I have something to give to you?"

"Is that what's in the bag there?" she asked, nodding toward the bag. "You know that I love surprises, and I love that book store. You better not get me excited about nothing."

"Well, I don't think it's nothing," he remarked as he helped her to her feet. Leading her over to the bed, he sat her down on the edge and started to take out three gifts from the sack. There was a single manila envelope, a small box wrapped in silver paper and a paper bag. He handed her the paper bag first. "You told me that you wanted to get to know me all over again. Years ago, I remember that Shawn fell in love with you through the contents of your purse. You had a book of Shakespeare sonnets. Knowing you now, I know that says a lot about you. This book says a lot about me."

The writer in Angela smiled. Tearing away the paper, she pulled out the hardback Dr. Seuss book and laughed. "Oh, the Places You'll Go," she read. "Dr. Seuss?"

"My mom bought this book to me right before I started kindergarten. I remember her reading it to me the night before my first day. I was so nervous, but that book helped me feel ready. I was so excited to start school," he explained. "I've read it every single time I've made a big decision, from my high school graduation and starting college to marrying Topanga and moving to New York. I thought it was a perfect way for me to start this next new phase of my life, a phase I am starting with you."

"Now this is a really great gift," she murmured, flipping through the colorful pages. "I never really got to read those kinds of books. My dad preferred the classics. I was always jealous of the little girl who sat next to me in kindergarten. She had that fish book."

"Well, now you have one all of your own, Little Angela," he avowed, kissing the top of her head affectionately. "And you have two more gifts. I'll let you pick which one first. You can't see the packages, you just have to pick A or B."

"Uh, A," she said. Cory produced the envelope proudly and handed it over. Tearing away the flap, she pulled the stack of legal documents and started to read over the technical jargon. Unsure of what it meant exactly, she became shocked when she got the gist of it. "You're separated."

"We're halfway there," he said. "I decided to end my marriage today."

"Wow," she uttered, clearly stunned. "Cor, you didn't do this for me, did you? I mean, you made this choice for you."

A part of him wanted her to assume that it was for her, but he understood her hesitation. This was a big decision and it couldn't hinge on a relationship that might not work out. It had to be about him being ready to move on – with or without her. "I did it for me," he promised. "You just happen to be a very pleasant side effect of my decision. We told Shawn this afternoon. I wanted you to be the next one to know."

"Congratulations, Cory, I know that this was a big decision for you," she replied brightly. Cory held out his arms to hug her as Angela moved closer to him. Arranging herself in his lap, she turned and embraced him tightly. They didn't kiss, but somehow the hug seemed more intimate…more permanent. "I'm proud of you, Mr. Matthews."

"I'm pretty proud of me, too," he laughed. "And in celebration of that pride, I bought you a gift." Pulling the final box from his pocket, he handed her the tiny package wrapped in metallic foil paper. "This is for you."

Gripping the box, she felt unsettled by the dimensions and weight of the present. It was the size of a jewelry box. More specifically, it was the size of a ring box. "C-cory, no," she stuttered, holding the box out for him. "I don't want to even open this. I'm not anywhere near ready to marry you."

"Good," he chuckled, "because I'm not asking you to marry me. That's not what this box is about. I promise you, there isn't a ring in there."

"Wait, so you don't want to marry me?"

"There's no good answer to that, so I'll just tell you to open it."

"Right," she drawled. Tearing away the paper, she flipped the black velvet around in her palm, trying to guess what was inside. Finally, she opened it and looked down at the sole object inside. In all her guesses, she had never come up with this. "It's a key."

"Not just a key," he pointed out. "There's a key chain. Look at the inscription."

"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it," she recited. "That's beautiful."

"That's what I found in Philadelphia. I found you."

"You found me in New York," she corrected him.

"No, I saw you again there, but I found you and fell in love with you here."

"Well, that explains the keychain. What's the key to?"

"I put an offer on a loft today."

"I…we…you want us to live together?"

"I just want you to come see the loft. If you want to live with me, you can. If you're not ready for that, that's okay too. I just want it to be somewhere you could see yourself living someday because I plan on having a long life with you, Ang. I'm not putting any pressure on you. I just want to be honest with you about the way I feel."

"Honesty," she sighed. "Now, _that_ is refreshing."

"So, do you like your presents?"

"I love them," she answered. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he grinned. "So, what do you want to do now?"

"Well, we could fold that laundry over there, or…"

"Or?"

"I want to see the loft tonight."

"We could go right now."

"We could," she murmured, pressing him back against the bed. Straddling his body, she smiled seductively down at him with her best bedroom eyes. "Or we could do this."


	19. Chapter 19

In the morning light, Angela hated to admit that she didn't have the same confidence she'd possessed last night in Cory's arms. The part of her that had seen her life fall apart time and time again couldn't trust that she could actually be happy once everything had started to go right. "What are you doing?" she asked herself harshly in the mirror. Cory appeared behind her, his eyes masked with something she couldn't quite decipher. Angela turned around and met his gaze, holding it for a moment longer than he was comfortable with. "What are we doing?"

"I thought we were moving in together," he answered slowly. "I mean, I was pretty sure that was what you wanted last night. We finally have the chance to be together. Why can't you just be happy?"

"Should I just give up on this?" she muttered, turning back around to inspect her reflection. He wanted to answer her question, but he knew that his words would do nothing to appease her. He had to show her…he had shown her. It was frustrating beyond all reason, but this was his life.

"Ang, I don't know what to say. I don't think I can convince you."

"I think I just did," she sputtered, brushing past him. Grabbing her leather satchel, she turned to him. Hands resting on jutted hips, she tried to muster the confidence she'd always been able to exude so naturally. "I am going to go for a walk over the coffee shop on Mason Street. I just need to go hole up somewhere and write. It's not you, I promise. You didn't do anything wrong. I just have a few things I need to work out in my head."

He reached out and grabbed her hand. "It's okay," he proclaimed, bring her to him. Staring down at her, he still couldn't believe how beautiful she was. "Everything is okay."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am. I know that I'm in love with you. Loving you makes me sure that this can work," he murmured, tilting her chin. Pressing his lips to her, he was relieved to feel her smile against his mouth. As he pulled away, he was disappointed to see it disappear. A single tear was slowly making its way down her flushed cheeks.

"I have to go" was all she managed to say before taking off in a full sprint. He could hear her footsteps pounding as she slammed down the stairs and out of the house. Leaning heavily against the door, he slowly sunk to the ground and brought his knees up to his chin. Wrapping his arms around his shins, he felt like he had just lost his best friend. Maybe he had.

"Good morning, Ms. Lawrence," Shawn drawled as he rolled off his beautiful girlfriend onto his back. Staring up at the white ceiling, he'd never felt better in his entire life. "What do you want to do today?"

Stretching, she yawned lazily, dreading the inevitable answer she had to give. "I need to get some work done. I have to file a couple briefs for the New York office so that I can officially be done with that city. A few hours of work is all that remains between us and our future."

"Well, then get to work woman," he ordered playfully.

"I can't do it here. I think I'll go get a latte and take my laptop. You probably have some stuff you want to do. I won't be able to do anything with you around. You have this canny way of distracting me. I'm not sure why."

"You can have the first shower then," he offered. "The sooner you get done, the sooner we can be together again. I think I'll go for a run."

"I have a better idea," she ventured. "I'll go do this. You go for that run. When we're done, we can meet back here and take a long shower together. We can celebrate this whole new life thing we got going on. What do you say?"

"I say that you are the most brilliant woman in the world," he retorted, kissing her briefly. He watched as Topanga packed her stuff into a linen tote bag. With one last kiss, she left him alone to contemplate what life was like before her. Happily, he didn't want to remember too many moments before his life with her. She was everything to him now.

A few minutes later, Topanga threw her laptop and paperwork on the only table left in the place. For a random Tuesday morning, the quaint café was unusually busy. Bustling with moms and strollers, businessmen and cell phones, old women and knitting, she took a minute to appreciate the diversity of the place. Then, as her eyes scanned the crowd, she settled on a familiar face in the doorway.

Angela was frustrated, frantically searching for just a chair in the coffee shop. By the time she had finally found one, she was far from surprised to see the only other occupant of the table. Of course, it had to be Topanga. Inwardly rolling her eyes, she decided to suck up her pride and head over. She needed a chair, and the only one left happened to be at her table. There was nothing else she could do but at least try. "Hi."

"Angela," Topanga greeted her cautiously. "It's really busy, huh?" Angela nodded, waited expectantly for her former friend to invite her to sit down. "Would like to join me?"

"We don't have to talk or anything," Angela assured her. "You're clearly busy, and I want to get some writing done. I'm not even in the mood to talk."

"Whatever, Angela," Topanga brushed her off. Inside, she was cringing at the other girl's frank disregard for her. "That's fine. I came here to work."

"I think that's what I just said."

"Dammit, Angela," Topanga shouted, causing everyone around them to stop talking and look at them. "I have apologized. Cory forgave me, and he is starting to forgive Shawn. What is your deal? You have him now. Why are you still so angry?"

Angela stared at her feet. How could she explain this? "If Cory lets go of you, that means he is holding onto me. No one has ever been able to hold onto me for very long. Everyone that has ever been close to me has either died or broke my trust."

"Cory's not like that," Topanga tried. "He'd never cheat on you. If he says that he loves you, I know that he means it. If he has committed to you then that is everything."

"You weren't like that," Angela pointed out. "Shawn wasn't like that."

"We're still not like that. We just finally made the choices that we all needed to make. It's not just Shawn and me that have moved forward through this, Angela. Look at you and Cory. If you don't really look, you're going to miss it. You're going to miss out on your life."

Just then, Angela's phone rang, sending the European ring throughout the café. Digging it out of her bag, she didn't even bother to glance at the caller I.D. "Hello?"

"Meet me at the corner of Second and Chestnut in 15 minutes," Cory told her. "It's important." Not giving her any time to argue, he ended the call without saying anything else.

"Thanks, Topanga," Angela muttered as she shoved everything back into her bag. "I have to go find Cory. Something is wrong with him. I need to find him." 

Running at full speed, she dodged through the crowd of people on their way to work. Pedestrian rush hour in Philadelphia was nothing compared to New York, so she was an expert at this by now. Jetting around the corner, she was there within five minutes. He grinned at her sheepishly as she reached him, completely breathless. "Cory! What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he promised. "I just had to make sure that you made it here. I wanted to show you something."

"I told you I needed time alone."

"That's the exact opposite of what you need," he said. "What do you think of this neighborhood?"

Looking around for the first time, she noted the cute character of the surrounding area. Older homes, beautiful landscaping, and picturesque porches – it had the charm of a small town and the location of the big city. "Cory, this place is great," she breathed, spinning around in a circle. I don't think I've ever been here. How did you find this place?"

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her toward a stone staircase. "This is our new home," he explained. Angela's gaze swept over the brownstone, a home that reminded her of her favorite street in New York. "There is a cozy breakfast nook that overlooks that park across the street. The bedroom is this great loft that looks over the living room. There is a corner with an antique lamp and bookshelves built into the wall. I thought we could put a little desk there for you to write. A balcony off the back will be great to BBQ in the summer or drink hot chocolate on the first day of winter. This is the perfect place for us, Angela."

"I'm sorry I ran away."

"Sometimes you have to run away to get to where you belong," he grinned. "The difference is, this time you had something to run to."

Back at the hotel, an hour later, Topanga came back to find Shawn pouring over a weather poetry book. She recognized the cover immediately, aware that it was his favorite. "That one again?"

"It's old faithful," he remarked without looking up. She enjoyed watching his eyes work their way across the page, caressing each syllable intimately. He could sit like that for hours, looking for the meaning of every beat. Poetry was a mystery that had to be solved for Shawn. Finally, putting the red ribbon back into the spine, he sat it on the desk and looked up at her. "You finished quickly."

"Actually, I didn't," she confessed, "but I don't care. You were the only thing I could think about. I could have tried to work for the next few hours to no avail, or I could just be realistic and come back to you."

"I don't care what you do as long as you always come back to me."

"Always," she vowed, kissing the tip of his nose. "Hey, Shawn?"

"Hey, Topanga?"

"Will you marry me?"


	20. Chapter 20

Just as she had asked Cory on a whim many years ago at their high school graduation, Topanga decided to commit herself to Shawn in a split second. Even as the words flew from her mouth, she couldn't believe that she was saying them. There was something so liberating about living in the moment, and Shawn Hunter made her want to do that. In the next moment, she was afraid that she would regret it but as his fingers tangled in her hair and he drew her close to his body, she knew that she would never look back. Her present, her future, her life – it all belonged with him.

"You haven't answered me," she whispered, putting her hand lightly on his chest to stop him. She didn't want to kiss him until she knew for certain. "I'm waiting."

A coy smile played across his lips as he dipped closer to her again. Gazing at her so intensely that she had to shut her eyes, she was exhilarated when she felt his chin bump against her cheek in a definite nod. "Yes, Topanga Lawrence, I will marry you," he announced in her ear, his sultry voice barely audible over the pounding of her heart.

Snaking her arms around his neck, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. "Say it again," she implored before devouring his mouth. Shawn chuckled against her lips as he spun them in a circle, struggling to repeat the words he'd uttered moments before. After a moment, she stopped him and jumped back to her feet. He laughed at her, slightly taken aback by the sudden seriousness of her mood. She smiled into his eyes, something he didn't even know was possible until that second. Reaching up, she tilted his head. "I love you."

"I love you too," he professed, bringing her to him again. He simply hugged her, enjoying the feeling of knowing that she was his indefinitely. Even more than that, he was hers. Out of everyone, she loved him the most. No one had ever loved him like that before, and while the old Shawn would have been scared out of his mind, this version of him was completely content for the first time in his entire life. "You have meant more to me than any woman I have ever known."

No words were necessary. Instead, she just wrapped herself further into him and pulled them into a slow, steady dance around their hotel room. Outside, horns and sirens in traffic provided the melody and inside, their hearts provided the bass line. Circling the room barefoot, it was the perfect song for the perfect moment, and nothing – not even reality – could ever take that away from them.

In their own little corner of heaven across Philadelphia, Angela sat alone in the dim living room that she would share with Cory. He had gone outside to make a call, leaving her inside to enjoy a future life she had never known she had hoped for. Tucking her chin on her knees, she looked around the spacious room and envisioned what it would like filled with their stuff. Her couch would run along the wall opposite the fireplace, photographs of their families lining the mahogany mantle. His favorite black and white framed print of Prague would look perfect above the sofa, flanked by her black sconces. Their tastes would become infused until this house had been transformed into their home.

Digging her toes into the plush carpet, she could almost hear them bantering in the kitchen. They would argue about the mundane details of their lives, silly things like which movie to see or what to have for dinner. While it wouldn't always be perfect, she knew that life would be pretty good with Cory. There would be lazy Sunday mornings in bed, Christmas mornings with a beautiful tree in the living room, family dinners in the dining room, barbeques with friends on the deck.

"It's done," he announced as he shut the door quietly behind him. Turning off the phone, he tossed it across the room out of sight. Unfolding a thick white blanket, he spread it on the carpet before crossing the room to turn on the gas fireplace. Cory sunk on the ground next to her before laying flat on his back. Angela turned so that her body was perpendicular to his and rested her head on his stomach. "What were you thinking about?"

"All the good times we're going to have in this house," she answered. "I was thinking what it would be like to see your parents and your siblings here at Christmas time. And having dinner parties with our friends in the kitchen, drinking until everything is blurry. I was thinking about the sound of little footsteps on the stairs and dancing with you in this room."

"It sounds like you were thinking about our life," he smiled, stroking her bare arm. "I have to tell you something. I have never seen you look as sexy as you did today. That white tank top, jeans and bare feet…"

"I love that I can just be myself with you, Cor."

"I just love you," he remarked. She turned over on her stomach and grinned. Just as she was about to kiss him, an unwanted ring filled the room, echoing loudly from the emptiness. "I thought I turned off my phone."

"You did. That would be my phone," she grimaced. Angela grew frustrated as she searched through her leather hobo bag. Finally, finding it tucked between the contents, she pulled it out. "It's Shawn."

"Answer it," he urged her, lying back against the carpet.

"Hey, Shawn," Angela said into the phone. "Uh, yeah, we're actually at our house." She glanced over at him nervously, shrugging. "Of course you can come by. Do you know where it's at?" Pausing, she listened to his reply. "Okay, we'll see you then."

"Shawn needs to see us. He has some news."

Cory looked down at his hands. Without even noticing it, their fingers had become interlocked. "I already know what he is going to say."

"How? Did you talk to him earlier?"

"No," he retorted, "but I know my best friend. Shawn and Topanga are getting married."

"No way," Angela insisted. "It's too early. You're not even divorced."

"It's late, and Shawn is anxious to see us, Ang," he pointed out. "They're getting married, and we're moving in together. And just like that, life changes."

"You're really calm."

"I love Shawn. I love Topanga. I don't love what they did to me, but if my marriage is over, I'm glad that he is the one that will take care of her. I wouldn't trust anyone else to do her justice," Cory said simply. "Topanga was my life for a very long time, but she isn't anymore. My life is this house. It's you and me. It's all the memories we are going to make together."

"You're so confident about all of this."

"I told you a long time ago that this was all happening for a reason and that you were my reason. That still hasn't changed. With every day that passes, I am more certain of this. And I can wait my entire life until you are just as sure, but I am going to promise you this. You're safe with me. It's okay to believe in us. We're real."

A light melody filled the room, signaling the arrival of Shawn and Topanga. Helping her to her feet, Cory took her hand and led her to the front door. Before he opened it, he turned to her and whispered reassuringly, "I love you."

She nodded back before pulling the door open herself. "Hello, welcome to our new home," she greeted them warmly. "I'd offer you something to drink or somewhere to sit, but as you can see, the house is rather bare at the minute. However, you can enjoy our fire. It's the only thing I can offer besides a blanket."

Topanga looked over at the blanket and recognized it immediately. "That's the one that Jack and Rachel got us for Christmas," she stated, managing to make everyone only slightly uncomfortable. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Cory said meaningfully. Looking into her eyes, he repeated the sentiment. "It's really okay."

"You already know." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Congratulations, Topanga," Angela announced from behind her, trying desperately to break the moment passing between the two ex-spouses. "You, too, Shawn."

"Thank you, Angela," he replied softly, threading his arms around her slender frame to embrace her. Cory was still quiet across from Topanga. "Cor?"

Stepping past Angela and Topanga, Cory grasped his best friend's hand and shook it. "Congratulations, Shawnie. I truly hope you will be happy together."

"You do?"

Cory turned and looked at Topanga. "Of course I do, Topanga," he avowed. "The only thing I have ever wanted was for you to be happy. It was my primary goal in life since the age of two."

"You definitely succeeded," she whispered as she moved into his arms. She allowed him to hug her for a minute, and for the first time, it wasn't awkward between them. Things between them had come full circle, and they were friends again.

Shawn walked back to the porch and brought a paper sack inside. "We brought this just in case you were supportive," he explained before pulling a bottle of champagne and four plastic flutes from the bag.

"Ooh, champagne!" Angela squealed.

Cory took the bottle from his friend and popped the cork, sending a light spray around the room. The foursome laughed in unison as glasses were filled. Angela took her rightful place next to Cory. "I propose a toast," Topanga announced. "I think we should all say something."

"To Shawn and Topanga on their engagement," Angela offered. "May life give you the very best it has to offer."

"To Cory and Angela in their new home," Shawn recited. "Let each day be better than the one before it."

"To love, friendship and finding both in the same person," Topanga stated.

"To old friends and new beginnings," Cory concluded

"Salud!" Shawn cried, tapping his glass against Topanga's.

"Here here," Topanga replied as she toasted Angela.

"Chin chin," Angela remarked as she clinked her flute to Cory's.

"Cheers," Cory finished before raising his glass to Shawn.

For the next hour, the friends talked about everything and nothing at the same time. Finally, as Topanga yawned and Angela struggled to stay awake, they started to go their separate ways. Topanga and Shawn were headed back to the hotel for a final night. They would go back to New York the next day to start packing their things. Angela and Cory would come a couple days after, the paperwork had begun on their new home. They agreed to meet for dinner the next week, maybe even at the Matthews' household. They had a family to glue back together, and with their friendships in tact, it looked likely that it would happen.

"Topanga, can you give us just a minute?" Shawn asked as they started to walk out.

"Yes, she will," Angela answered for her, pulling her outside before she could protest.

Alone in the cool night air, Topanga looked at her companion. "What was that about?"

"They need to have a moment, and I think that we do, too," she responded. "I just wanted to tell you how happy I really am for you and Shawn. I can't believe I'm saying that, and even more, I can't believe that I mean it. But I do."

"Thank you, Angela. That means more to me than you'll ever know."

"I hope that we can be friends again," she confided. "I don't know that we will ever be able to get back to where we were, but maybe we can find a whole new place."

"I would really like that," Topanga muttered, feeling silly as the tears came. "I've missed you, Angela."

"Oh, girl," Angela giggled, throwing her arms around the girl's neck. "I've missed you, too."

Inside, the guys were having their own heart to heart. "Cory, I want to thank you for making this okay for her," Shawn said. "You didn't have to, but you did."

"Look around, Shawnie," Cory mused as he gestured around at the house. "The anger doesn't matter anymore."

"I'm glad you said that because I wanted to ask you something else. I wanted to know if you would be my best man."

"I don't know. I mean, Jack's your brother. Shouldn't you ask him?"

"No," Shawn insisted. "You have to be my best man, Cory, because I don't know anyone better than you. You are the definition of that title. Jack is my brother by biology, but you are my brother by choice."

"How could I say no to that?"

After sharing a brief embrace, they slipped outside to join the girls. Shawn led Angela toward the car to say goodnight, understanding that Topanga and Cory needed another moment alone. It would likely be the last that they shared – at least like this. "I'm glad that you found Cory," Shawn admitted as he kicked a rock along the pavement.

"He says this is how life was supposed to happen," Angela proclaimed. "I'm starting to think that he may be right."

"You guys are going to be happy together."

"We already are," she smiled. "I know that you are as well."

"I never thought that I would be, but I really am."

"I tried," she shrugged, "but I was never enough."

Shawn looked out at his fiancée. "No one else would have been. It had to be her," he justified. "But you are the only other one who ever came close."

"Thanks for that."

"Thanks for everything, Angela," he countered. "Thanks for being the first one to ever believe that I was worth loving. Thanks for teaching me how to let someone in."

Topanga shivered as she pulled her coat tighter around her. Cory reached out instinctively and ran his hands up and down her skin to warm her. It was so automatic that neither of them really seemed to notice. "So this is really it," Topanga whispered, dropping her voice so that only Cory could hear her.

"If you ever need anything, you know that I will always be here for you," he promised.

"I know," she acknowledged. "I still love you, Cory."

"I know," he echoed. "I still love you."

"We always will, won't we?"

"I hope so."

"Come on, Topanga!" Shawn called as Angela jogged toward them. Throwing them an exasperated smile, Topanga waved and bound across the lawn to the car.

"Hi," Angela whispered as she reached Cory. Stepping beneath the porch light, an amber glow flooded overhead.

"Hi," Cory murmured as he leaned down to kiss her.

From their spot next to the car, Shawn smiled at Topanga over the roof. "They fit."

"We fit," she insisted as she sunk into the car. Reaching across the seat for his hand, she threaded their fingers together. Looking back at them, they did look great together. Sliding across the seat next to Shawn, she glimpsed at them in the mirror. Then again, so did her and Shawn. "Let's go home."

With a honk of the horn, Shawn pulled the car away from the curb. Angela and Cory pulled apart long enough to wave, watching as the taillights disappeared into the dark of night. "Let's go home," Angela whispered, nodding her head toward the house. Cory took her outstretched hand and opened the door to his new house to follow Angela inside, closing the door on everything that had happened before and opening it to a whole new world.

Looking back at the fading taillights, he smiled to himself. "Man meets world."

_El Fin._


End file.
